“You okay?” he followed up the same question from earlier, sounding different now.
Less controlled, more real.
“I’m fine.”
His eyes lingered on me for a second longer before he acknowledged, “I saw it.”
The words landed heavier than anything I could have imagined. Kraven didn’t interrupt him. He didn’t step in either. He stayed exactly where he was, sitting on the couch beside me.
“What?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.
“Don’t do that,” he called me. “You know what.”
I swallowed hard.
“The way Kraven…” He stopped himself. “The way you two are with each other. I saw it… fuck, I’m still seeing it.”
The room went still. Everything had narrowed down to this one moment in time.
“It’s not…” I started to say something, but the words didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was trying to say.
That it’s not real? That he’s imagining it? That it doesn’t mean anything? That it’s not what it looks like?
It was all lies I’d been telling myself in order to spare Julius the pain and betrayal. I didn’t mean to fall in love with both of them. It was just meant to be that way.
“Was it because I wasn’t here? Did it happen because I was gone? Or was this happening the entire time? All the times I walked in on you two… Have I been blind to the truth the whole time?”
My heart started beating faster and faster.
Julius took another step closer to me until he was right there in front of me. Close enough to where I could feel the heat burning off him.
It was tangible.
“I’m so sorry, Julius,” I honestly expressed.
“I don’t know what this is.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it or how I’m supposed to feel about it. All I know is I can’t lose you, Mouse.”
“Julius, you don’t have to decide anything right now,” Kraven intervened.
Julius laughed under his breath. “That’s your answer to everything, huh?”
“It’s the only one that makes sense to me.” Kraven shrugged.
Choose what?
I peered back and forth between them, reaching for Julius without thinking. My fingers closed in around his wrist.
“You’re not going to lose me.” Again, I glanced back and forth between them. “I promise you.”
I didn’t say it to one of them. I didn’t specify a name. I meant it for both of them. Julius’s gaze dropped briefly to where my hand held his, then lifted.
For the first time since he’d walked back into our lives, he didn’t look like he was trying to fight with Kraven, me…
Himself.
His other hand came up slowly, hovering over me for a second before settling lightly against my side. He was careful.
Testing something.
