I didn’t breathe.
I thought if I stayed there long enough, I could pretend none of this was happening, none of this was real, but the silence didn’t shift. It didn’t stir, and it didn’t break—it held.
Suffocating me from the inside out.
Julius should be there with us. That was my first thought, hitting me fast and hard, almost like it was a baseball bat to my face.
It was sharp.
Instant.
Throwing me into a tailspin ofwhat the fuck…
Julius should be leaning against the counter, watching me cook dinner like he always did. It was one of our favorite times together. I loved cooking for him, feeding him my food, and watching him enjoy it. The house lacked laughter. There was no violin, no music, and there was nothing that I recognized.
No movement.
No sound.
No him.
Julius…
My best friend.
My grip tensed on the doorknob before I forced myself to let go, dropping my hand slowly to my side. It was too loud. Even that slight movement echoed through the walls. I stepped farther inside, closing the door behind me more carefully this time, easing it shut like I didn’t want to disturb anything.
Anyone…
Or maybe it was because Kraven was still there, and I didn’t want to be noticed. The awareness slid over my skin before my eyes adjusted to the mess from the cops ransacking the place. It was when my body finally caught up with my reality.
My chest tightened at the realization as my jaw clenched while I looked away, trying to move past my emotions. I walked toward the kitchen, remaining in control, at least telling myself I was. Except I quickly realized something else—control never existed in this house.
It never had.
Never would.
My fingers curled around the edge of the kitchen counter, grounding myself against the cool stone. I breathed in slowly. My body felt off. Not just the tightness in my chest or the weight pressing behind my ribs, but something quieter.
Deeper.
Something I hadn’t said out loud yet.
The floor creaked behind me, and I went still again, swallowing hard. Closing my eyes for half a second, I braced myself before I turned. He was leaning in the doorway like he had been there the entire time.
Watching me.
Kraven didn’t move when I looked at him. He didn’t speak either. One shoulder rested against the frame, posture loose, but nothing was relaxed about the way his eyes held mine.
Too steady.
He was well aware of everything I was feeling, and that in itself was too much for me to experience. This felt like a moment of weakness while the silence stretched thin between us.
It was thick.
Deliberate.
Exhausting.
