Well, lucky for YOU, I happen to be available. Do you want to meet up in the Mission?
Sure. Let’s get burritos. I’ve been craving them.
YAS. BURRITOS WITH MY JAYRITO. I’m so glad you’re not dead, bestie. <3
Jay set the phone down again, throwing her head back with a loud sigh.Fuck, Lily, she thought, amused and exasperated and drained, all at once. She didn’t need someone to tell her that her life was royally screwed, because she knew it was. It always had been.
Screwed up was basically her normal.
But the cost of that was that she had always needed to hold people at a distance, to stop them before they could ask the difficult questions. Nicholas had never seemed to care what people thought of him but she did. It was like a game of smoke and mirrors: you could never let anyone get too close or they’d see the rips and snarls that marred that illusion of perfection.
She had unthinkingly packed for the warmer So-Cal weather, so she delved into her yet-to-be-packed-up closet and pulled on one of her old sweaters and a pair of tight-fitting jeans. This time, she did take BART—because Nicholas didn’t run her life—and as soon as she got off on Sixteenth and Mission, she was assailed by the all-too-familiar sight of homeless people begging in the station courtyard.
Jay skirted the edge of it, avoiding someone who was shooting up—what a shockthatwould be to the historical society matrons, Jay thought.They’d probably throw another fucking charity ball for it.
As she walked deeper into Mission, it gained a cozier, almost residential feel. Lots of couples, some of them with children, and hipsters wearing the latest street fashions. Other places, they stayed inside you. But when you left the city, it was like ripping off a scab. It simply grew back over the raw place you’d left, sealing up like a wound.
She found the rather uncreatively named Mission Burritos Lily had texted her. She’d never even heard of the place before,but in her brief tenure in the city, Jay had found that the less creative the name, the more delicious the food. It was always those pop-up places with the cutesy, punny names that ended up giving you the runs.
“Jay!” Lily jumped up from her seat, causing several people around her to look around, perplexed. She was wearing jeans and a cute little striped top that looked vintage and, knowing her, probably was. She wrapped Jay in a hug, who stiffened and then returned it slowly, putting her arm around the smaller woman and tentatively squeezing back. “You made it!”
“I hope you weren’t waiting long. BART was late, as usual.”
“Not at all.” Lily grinned. “Nice beach tan.”
“I’m always tan.” Jay rolled her eyes, following Lily to the ordering counter. “So what’s new with you? Give me the elevator version first.”
“Well, I got promoted. To senior executive assistant!”
“Wow, that’s awesome. Congratulations.”
“I’m pumped,” Lily said, pausing to take a breath and place her order. “ThoughobviouslyI miss your face. Sheridan hired a new assistant and I’m pretty sure he hates me.”
“Who could hate you?” Jay said. “It would be like hating a puppy.”
“See? That’s why you’re the best. So tell me. How isyourjob?”
Jay glanced at the menu and ordered the vegan chorizo. “It’s looking pretty permanent. Like I said, I’m just taking some personal days to box up my things. Then I’m going back.”
“To LA?”
“Yeah.” Jay scratched at her neck. “I actually lived there for a while, so it feels pretty familiar.”
“Extra ancho chiles, please—Jay, that’s so awesome! Is your work hooking you up with a place?”
Emphasis on the hooking, her brain whispered.
“Sort of.” She managed a watery smile. “It’s a culture shock for sure but so much of it’s changed. Not like here.” She asked for an horchata, propping her hip against the counter as the server grabbed a plastic cup. “I grew up here. In the city. Did I ever tell you that?”
“I think so, but it’s been a while so I don’t really remember.” Lily cradled her foil-wrapped burrito like it was something precious. “Tell me more about the guy. The hot one who came in. Do youknowhim? When you went skipping out of there, you looked like you’d seen a ghost.”
“I know him.” She took her burrito carefully. “He’s my stepbrother.”
“Wait, really? Your brother? I thought he might have been—” Lily blushed. “Your ex.”
Probably because I’ve fucked him more than I ever did any of my exes.
Jay took a desperate sip of horchata to cool the burning in her throat. “We grew up together. After I left SF with my mom, that is. She married his dad. He’s younger—four years younger,” she reminded herself.
