Her face shifted, undergoing several changes in sequence. When she spoke, she sounded subdued. “You’re still haunted by him, too?”
He thought of the dark whispers in his mind whenever he’d reached another low, or found himself pushing up against another dark wall. “You could say that. In any case, I’m glad he’s dead. I often find myself thinking that if he wasn’t, I might just have killed him myself.”
“You’d be in prison, Nicholas.”
Her ship exploded into a cloud of pixelated fire. “When I think about what he did to you—what he would have done that night if I hadn’t stopped him—”
“Nicholas.” She grabbed his arm as her ship smoldered on the screen. Her face was worried. “Nick,” she said, softening her words. “I don’t want you to hurt people for me.”
“I feel like I’m losing my fucking grip, Jay. First my father. Then your mother. Now Jake—”
“I know. Believe me, I know.” She ran her hand over his bicep before taking her hand away. “After that fight with my mother, I drank a whole half bottle of wine. It made me sick as a dog.” She gave him a sympathetic glance. “What is Jake doing now? Is he the sheriff, like his dad?”
Nicholas breathed out a laugh. “Him? No. Even his father thinks he’s an embarrassment. He works for his uncle, who runs some sleazy detective agency. The kind that photographs cheating wives for their cuck husbands, like they’re not getting off on watching strangers fuck.”
“Wow,” Jay said. “That’s a little ironic, coming from you.”
The remark stung and he grimaced as he raised his glass, causing the ice to clink against the side. “It’s easy to get used to seeing people through a lens.”
“Spying on them.”
“I mostly just spied on you.”
“Reading my diary.” Jay shook her head. “Filming me. Sneaking into my room.”
“You were so fucking beautiful. Everything came to you so easily.” He set his glass down, the florals of the gin thickly coating his tongue. “I just wanted a piece of you for myself.”
“You wanted me on my knees.” She gave him a harsh look that crackled through him like static. “Everything I had, I had to work three times as hard for—and you wanted to take that all away. And nobody stopped you from doing it to me. Nobody stopped your father, either.”
“Poor blue jay.”
“That’s what’s wrong with this town,” Jay said. “The people here will tell you that it’s a privilege to be able to breathe, and then they’ll sit back and watch you be suffocated.”
“I told you that.”
“I didn’t want to believe you.” Her eyes blinked away. “But then you made me do things I didn’t want to do, and I did.”
He picked up the controller again. “I’ve made you bitter.”
“I’m not bitter.”
“And a liar, too.”
Jay grabbed his controller, sending his ship flying wide. His eyes widened in surprise, and then a smirk tugged at his mouth as he flipped his wrist, so her hand was trapped beneath his when he swung to his knees, using his weight to roll her onto her back while their ships both crashed.
Her drink tipped over right along with her and the scent of bitters and lemon rose up from the carpet as he pinned her down by his hips, stretching to cover her body with his.
“Daddy’s bitter little bird.” Smiling darkly, he drew his fingers possessively down the side of her cheek while his eyes searched her face. “You don’t want anyone to save you from me now, do you? You like being at my mercy when I fuck you.”
“Nicholas—” She shivered. “Please . . .”
“I asked you a question.”
She wet her lips. “N-no. I . . . like it.”
He reached past her for the remote, turning the TV off. Under the black eye of the screen, they fumbled. Her hands moved over his back and shoulders, and he was forced to get down on one arm so she could pull the wifebeater over his head.
“You want this.” It was not a question, but she closed her eyes and nodded.
