That voice, the one I hadn’t heard for so long, was back. Thebadvoice, I called it.
Friend.Find them.
There was no way I was listening to thebadvoice. How could I? Except it didn’t feel bad this time. It didn’t feel scary. If anything, it felt reassuring for the first time, like there really was a friend out there and I really should go look.
One step after another, I went to the door, second-guessing myself with each one.I shouldn’t do this. I have a baby growing in me. I need to protect them. Why would I go out there? Why would there be a friend? Why am I listening to a voice in my head that isn’t mine?
Except thebadvoicewaspart of me, and that set me on the same path I’d been on of wondering who or what I was.
I opened the door and instantly regretted it.
Slamming it shut, bolting it, and sliding down against the wood, I hugged my knees as best I could with my growing belly. “Don’t worry, little one, I’ll protect you.”
The question was, who would protect me?
FIVE
PHELAN
I stood on the sidewalk after my rideshare drove off and stared at the house, wondering if this was a mistake.
No, we need our mate.
But does he want me?I expected Rawling to open the door and pitch a potted plant at my head. Not that he knew I was coming, so I might have time to duck while his brain registered what he was seeing.
I had a lot of apologizing to do, and it might take all weekend. I kept asking myself how I could have been such a fool. But when you’re confronted by reality that you not only have a mate but you’ve known him for months and been inside of him, instinct takes over.
I’d been a shitty… a shitty what? Not friends with benefits because we weren’t friends, and I’d hidden what we’d been doing from everyone. There were only sexual benefits until he’d had enough and broken up with me.
That was a low point, when I dragged myself around college and could only think of him and how much I missed him. And when we finally got back together, I got him pregnant and then took on the role of an alpha from centuries past and mated him.
Will you stop? We’re here.
I’d never been so apprehensive when ringing a doorbell. I counted the seconds, thinking Rawling might be out or so ill he needed an ambulance.
But my beast picked up the soft padding of footsteps.
“Do I need to sign or can you leave it on the doorstep?”
He was expecting a delivery, so maybe my folks had sent another one since this morning.
“Neither.”
He squawked, and there was a thump. It was the dreaded flower pot. I made ready to lurch to one side, but the door flung open and Rawling was empty-handed. He was paler than a few weeks ago, and his cheekbones were more prominent. But what brought tears to my eyes was a glimpse of his small bump.
“What the freaking fuck are you doing here?” He peered around me. “Did you change jobs? Delivery drivers get a lot of grief.”
“I came to see you.” I held up a shopping bag. “Peace offering.”
He glared at me, but his hand went to my mark on his neck.
Our mate.
He snatched the bag and stomped into the house. The door was still open, but I stayed outside. I’d already stolen agency from Rawling when I marked him, so I refused to invade his privacy.
He glanced over his shoulder. “If you’re expecting a tip, there is none. Lousy service, so I’m giving you one star.”
I had to take his barbs because I deserved it.
