‘So, turn around, rest your arms on the edge.’
He didn’t need to ask her twice. She turned her back to him and positioned herself as he’d suggested. She was already feeling beautifully warm and relaxed but when Gunnar’s fingers grazed her shoulders everything heightened ten-fold. Now she felt warm, relaxed and sexy…
‘How do you feel after saying your truth to the crater?’ Gunnar asked, hands caressing her muscles.
Her stomach fluttered in response to his question, a mix of nervousness and anticipation. ‘I feel… that it was the right thing to do and it was the right time.’
‘How long have you known?’ Gunnar asked. ‘If you don’t mind that I ask.’
‘No, it’s OK,’ Chloe said. ‘It’s been eleven months. I had a partner, we wanted to start a family together and it didn’t happen.’
‘I am sorry for that.’
‘Don’t be,’ Chloe answered. ‘I mean, I think now that there were many reasons it didn’t work out for us, but the not being able to have children naturally together just wasn’t what he wanted.’
She felt him slow down with his hands, ease his fingers over her muscles, soft then harder, her tendons aching with joy.
‘And how did you feel about that?’ Gunnar asked her.
‘About not being able to have children naturally?’
‘About your partner only wanting children who were born “naturally”.’
She heard the quotation marks around the word ‘naturally’ and realised that no one had ever asked her that question before. The friends that knew had only ever asked her how she felt about her infertility, not Michael’s response to it.
‘I think it made me think less of him,’ Chloe answered truthfully. ‘The person I thought he was would have looked at other ways to create a family, if a family with me was what he truly wanted.’
She felt Gunnar’s fingers stop massaging and she wondered if she had said something wrong.
‘Turn around,krúttio mitt. Look at me.’
The warm water swirling around her, Chloe turned to face him. This handsome man who was starting to become more and more familiar to her. He was gazing at her now like she might be the most beautiful work of art. Precious. Special.
‘Anyone who truly cares for someone will still care for them no matter how circumstances change,’ he told her.
‘You really believe that?’
‘Yes, I believe that,’ he re-affirmed. ‘And, I think, if you do not believe that then you are sending a message that you do not believe in the truest, deepest forms of human connection. Empathy. Humility. Love.’
He looked so genuine, that he completely trusted this at his core.
‘I want to believe it,’ Chloe told him. ‘But past experiences haven’t reassured me.’
‘Chloe,’ he said, stepping right up to her, the steam rising from the water between them. ‘We all have moments that shake us right through our centre, but the answer is not to let those moments devour your inner hope, your strongest resilience. The people who make you question everything you thought you believed about them are not the people who should be able to make you fall.’
As he said the words, he cupped her face with one of his huge hands and Chloe closed her eyes, leaning into his palm. It would be so easy to just rest here, to let go of previous baggage with Michael but…
She opened her eyes, looking at him. ‘Gunnar, you said that Kirstin left because she didn’t want children and now you know that I can’t have them so the circumstances, they are no different for you.’
‘I have not explained it very well,’ Gunnar told her. ‘Not from the start and not now either.’ He took a breath. ‘Do you remember Magnús? On the coach tour.’
She nodded. ‘Your friend’s son.’
‘Except he is not my friend’s son.’
‘He’s your son?’
‘Not exactly that either but, yes, I am responsible for him. There are many volcanos on this island but, one day, there was an eruption no one was expecting. And when that happened, Magnús’ parents, they were never found. Their house was destroyed… and I rescued the only person I could find that day – Magnús.’ He sighed. ‘He is the child that Kirstin could not see in her future with me. A child that already exists. One that I would do anything to protect.’
