‘Then it was a spirit!’
‘I knew you would say that.’
‘But you tell me anyway.’
Gunnar shrugged.
‘And because of this there is something on your mind.’
He sighed. ‘Chloe had some very good news today. She has been offered partnership with the company she works for.’
‘That is fantastic!’ Hildur said, clapping her hands together. ‘She is a very smart woman. I tell this from the moment we meet.’
‘She is,’ Gunnar agreed.
‘But this is a problem,’ Hildur said.
‘No.’
‘Gunnar Eriksson, I know you.’
‘I do not know what to say,’ he stated. ‘It just feels like everything is repeating itself all over again.’
As he said the words he hated himself for feeling any kind of way about Chloe’s work news. He should only feel complete happiness for her achievement and he did feel joy for her but, underneath it all was a horrible burning sensation that told him that as soon as he had begun to open himself up, be honest about Magnús, try to unlock that vulnerable personal side of himself, the universe was preparing to take it all away and shut it down again. And as all these thoughts revolved in his head, Hildur hadn’t said anything, was simply looking at him like she was waiting for more…
‘It is like what happened with Kirstin, no? She finds out about Magnús, she gets a new, better work opportunity, she leaves. It is the exact same pattern of events. I do not know why I expected anything else.’
‘Have you said any of this to Chloe?’ Hildur asked him.
‘How can I?’ he said, throwing his hands up. ‘Why would I? I want Chloe to be happy. She deserves all the happiness given everything she has been through. And I am not the kind of person to say “but what does that mean for the beginnings of us”? We have known each other for such a short time. It is insignificant compared to all the time she has put into making her successful career.’
Hildur hauled herself to her feet and began to shuffle across the living area towards him.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked.
‘I am coming closer so I do not need to shout,’ she said, her arms brushing tinsel and baubles as she passed by the Christmas tree. ‘There may be hugging.’
Gunnar folded his arms across his chest and retracted slightly. But he checked to make sure Hildur was on her way to safely sitting down beside him. And then she launched her tiny frame at him so he almost had to catch her and she held on tight with what he imagined to be the grip of a Norse god.
‘You need to have faith,’ Hildur told him.
‘In God? In the spirits?’
‘In Chloe,’ Hildur said. ‘And, in yourself.’
She let him go then, sitting down beside him and meeting his gaze.
‘Chloe is not Kirstin. And you are not the same person that you were back then.’
‘No?’
‘No,’ Hildur told him. ‘Back then you were looking for someone to share a relationship with because you thought that is what you should be doing. You never really, truly opened yourself up to the possibility of love, you only partially unlocked the door and peeked out to see what was there.’
‘I do not think?—’
‘I am right. You know this. Do not question it.’
Gunnar said nothing else.
