‘Delphine, I need to speak with you.’
She was behind the till at her store. For some reason, the fish barbecue meant apparently there was a run of people suddenly wanting to buy groceries even though the store was usually closed at this time.
‘I cannot speak now. I am busy.’ She hammered at the barely electronic till before addressing the customer. ‘These biscuits are two for the price of one. I will fetch you another packet.’ She came out from behind the counter and raced off up the aisle.
‘Delphine, you cannot avoid me forever,’ Jacques said, giving chase.
‘I am busy. You can see. There are many people. You brought them here with your fish.’ She began plucking packets of biscuits from the shelves, sending spirals of festive ribbons flying.
‘You’ve also brought a reindeer that is not pregnant,’ Jacques announced.
‘How do you know that?’ Delphine exclaimed. ‘Did you… examine it?’
‘Yes.’
‘What? Internally?’ Delphine asked, looking horrified.
‘I did not need to examine internally. From the outside I can tell it is not pregnant. I can also tell that it canneverbe pregnant,’ Jacques elaborated as Delphine stacked up biscuit boxes on her arms like they were a pile of logs.
She tutted. ‘I do not believe that. How could you know that?’
‘Because,’ Jacques said, taking two boxes from her pile before they fell off. ‘That reindeer is male.’
He watched and waited for Delphine to deflate. Except she didn’t. She kept moving, pulling items from the shelves, stacking them high in her arms and walking back through the store.
‘You are mistaken,’ Delphine stated. ‘I know you know animals but you are not an expert in the genitals of reindeer.’
‘Delphine, I know the difference between a male and a female.’
‘Well… as I said… you have made a mistake.’
‘Delphine, I checked, thoroughly,hopingI was making a mistake.’
She slowed now, like the conversation was as weighty as the groceries in her arms. For a brief moment she looked unsteady on her feet.
‘Delphine, slow down,’ he ordered.
‘I cannot slow down,’ she said. ‘If I slow down then things do not get done and who will be here when I am not here to get things done?’ She sighed. ‘Not Gerard, he has his hands full with the bar. Not Madame Voisin, she is older than me. Not you, you are still determined to keep a life alone and never move forward.’
An expression was crossing his friend’s face that he had never seen before. It wasn’t just frustration, it was deep concern, anxiety, maybe even fear. And it resonated in his gut. Something was wrong.
‘Delphine,’ he said, softly, tentatively maybe. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘I need you to make the reindeer pregnant.’
‘What?’
‘Not like that! Do not be ridiculous! Who do you think I am?’ She sighed. ‘I need you to let Orla think the reindeer is pregnant.’
‘So youknewit was a male? That it was never pregnant?’
‘I did not even know if I could get my hands on any kind of reindeer!’
Jacques shook his head. ‘Delphine, you lied tome. And you lied to Orla. So much so she has flown here all the way from England with her sister because of this.’
‘Desperate times call for desperate decisions.’
‘My dating life is not a desperate time,’ Jacques said.
