He rocks into me a few more times, drawing it out, and I feel him pulse again. When he finally stills, we're both breathing hard and covered in sweat.
We lie there afterward, tangled together, both catching our breath. He's still inside me and I'm not ready for him to move yet. The bond hums between us, satisfied and complete.
After a few minutes, he pulls out slowly and I feel the loss. He rolls to his side and pulls me against him, my back to his chest.
"I hate this," I whisper into the darkness. "Hiding you."
"I know." He kisses my temple. "But it keeps me safe. Keeps us both safe."
The reminder of reality crashes back. Julian has to hide. Caspian can claim me publicly. The inequality burns between us through our bond and I know Julian can feel it too.
"Caspian said when I'm ready, I go to him. For claiming." The words feel heavy saying them aloud, acknowledging what's coming.
Julian goes still, and I feel the spike of jealousy through our bond before he locks it down. "Are you? Ready?"
"I don't know." Truth. "The bond wants it. My body wants it. But claiming him means everyone knows. Permanent mark on my throat. And you..."
"I've already claimed you. The bond is complete between us." His hand over my heart. "What you do with Caspian doesn't change what we are."
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"Of course it bothers me." He pulls me tighter against him. "But I knew what you were when I claimed you. Silverpelt. Multiple mates. I don't get you exclusively and neither does he." Pause. "But what we have in the dark is ours. That's enough for me."
I'm not sure it's enough for me but I don't say that. Just press closer and try to memorize this feeling before he has to leave.
Around twelve thirty, he kisses my shoulder. "I need to go. Lily will be back soon."
"I know."
He gets dressed slowly and I watch from the bed, memorizing how his muscles move in the dim light from my desk lamp. When he's fully clothed, he comes back to kiss me one more time. Deep and claiming and desperate.
"I'll see you in class," he says against my mouth.
"Professor Harmon," I whisper back, and his eyes darken.
He climbs out the window and I slide out of bed, wrapping the sheet around me as I move to watch. He scales down the wall and when his feet hit the ground, he looks up at me one last time. I can see the war in his expression even from here - wanting to stay versus knowing he has to go.
Then he disappears into the shadows and the unfairness of it burns in my chest. Julian has to sneak in and out like a secret. Caspian can claim me publicly, proudly, permanently. It's not equal. Not fair.
But life isn't fair.
I'm still awake, staring at the ceiling, when there's a knock on my door an hour later.
I freeze. It's barely past one thirty. Lily has a key. No one should be knocking.
Another knock. Quieter this time but insistent.
I pull on clothes and open the door.
Knox is standing there and he's been in a fight. Blood drips from split knuckles and there's a fresh gash across his jaw that's still bleeding. His eyes are amber, flickering between wolf and human like he's barely holding his form. Claw marks score his forearms and his t-shirt is torn at the shoulder, revealing more scratches underneath.
"Knox?" My stomach drops. "What happened?"
"We need to talk. Now." His voice is rough, barely human, and when he speaks I can see his canines are elongated. "Can I come in?"
I glance down the hallway but it's empty. I step back and he slips inside, moving like a predator even injured. The scent of blood and violence rolls off him.
I close the door. "What's going on?"
