“Are you gay?” I ask him.
He looks at me. “I did not make that obvious enough to you for the past few days?”
My cheeks warm.
“I am gay, Mateo,” Florian says. “I did not realize that I was making you lie to so many people. I am so very sorry.”
“Florian, you shouldn’t be apologizing to me.”
“It did not sit well that you were the only person apologizing.”
“Oh, we’re going egalitarian here?” I chuckle.
He smiles back, and for a moment, I can forget all this mess.
Then he sighs, and his expression turns sad. “Would you mind if I accepted your proposal?”
“Of course not,” I say. “I enjoy spending time with you. I would be honored to be your pretend boyfriend.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
Florian
I don’t have a boyfriend. But I do have a pretend boyfriend.
It’s not the same thing. Obviously.
But I am too selfish to tell Mateo that I don’t need him. I don’t want to envision a life where he does not play any part of it, even a fake part.
“Nothing will change,” Mateo says. “I’ll still be here.”
“I suppose,” I say. “You were always only my fake boyfriend. I just didn’t know it.”
“Yes,” Mateo says eagerly. “Yes.”
I wince.
I am so embarrassed. How could I have thought this beautiful man was mine? What signs were there that he was bewildered and bemused by my enthusiasm? What did I miss?
Everything. I missed everything.
I frown, and his eyes turn soft and worried. I force a smile on my face. It’s wobbly, and Mateo looks uneasy.
He will regret spending any more time with me.
I stand up.
He looks at me with concern, and my cheeks heat again.
He must think I’m so pathetic. I am a hockey player. I should not need Mateo by my side the way a child might want a stuffed animal in his arms.
Someone knocks on the door, and Mateo heads to it gratefully as Jason enters the room.
Jason averts his gaze. Did he see me fall off the treadmill?
“See you at lunch?” Mateo asks brightly.
