Nein, nein, nein.
Dummkopf.
“Florian,” Mateo says, his voice gentle. “You’re speaking German.”
I turn to him.
Memories crash through me.
This wasn’t a place I wanted to be. This was a place I avoided.
This was a place I hated.
And I know. “We’re not boyfriends.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY
Mateo
Florian looks like he’s about to faint. His face goes white, then green.
“Is something wrong?” I rush to his side. “Have a seat.”
He flinches.
Normally, he would lean into me and let me guide him to a chair.
Now, he scrutinizes me like he’s evaluating a video of a new team before playing against them for the first time. I am a stranger who can harm him.
Who already did harm him.
Shit.
“You remember,” I say as softly as I can.
He stares at me. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
“It’s okay,” I tell him.
He doesn’t move.
Obviously.
It’s not okay.
Of course it’s not okay.
I’m not his boyfriend, even though I pretended to be. God, maybe he’s straight. What if he’s straight?
Don’t people sometimes wake up and start speaking a foreign language or something? What if this was similar? What if he wasn’t a repressed gay man who mistook the man at his bedside for his boyfriend? What if he is actually the homophobe I initially thought he was?
I inhale. Is he going to yell at me? Will the whole team come rushing? The entire admin staff? Will everyone know?
But I deserve that. I lied to him. I lied to him over and over and over.
His fingers tremble, and I go to the door and lock it.
