La’Nova set her fork down, placed her elbows on the table, interlocked her fingers and just stared at Serenity.
“I moved into a nice apartment in Hollywood; I’ve been making good money doing OnlyFans,” she quickly added.
La’Nova searched her mind for the proper response without sounding harsh. She had never been the kind of woman people ran to for comfort especially working for Lucille. She was always blunt with all the women there. Across the table, Serenity kept her shoulders tight like she expected for La’Nova to judge and get on her case.
“Go ahead and give it to me raw,” Serenity said in a low defeated tone.
“Surviving ain’t the same as living, Renity.” La’Nova started carefully.
“It’s what I know.” Serenity shrugged, voice small but defensive. “I’m not about to work at a hamburger joint making minimum wage when my bank account ain’t used to small change,” she added.
“I know.” La’Nova nodded her head in agreement.
She had met too many girls like Serenity. Girls who got labeled fast but never guided in the right direction based upon judgment. Serenity had raw uncut beauty, but her mentality had been built in survival mode with quick, unrealistic decisions, guarded emotions, and low expectations in others. Serenity didn’t think about thriving because surviving her given circumstances had always been enough.
Whenever La’Nova tried to talk life into her or opportunities came her way, she hesitated and convinced herself that she wasn’t qualified, worthy enough or ready. Serenity constantly sold herself short before anyone else could. Settling for less because less was where she was the most comfortable. Money brought on fake comfort and security.
She accepted half-hearted affection from people because she truly didn’t know where to begin with loving herself.
“Say something please.” Serenity pleaded quietly.
There was something steady about La’Nova that made Serenity gravitate toward her. Even close in age, La’Nova served as a nurturer, a mother figure she yearned for. She loved thatLa’Nova was never afraid to speak her mind. Most women that befriended Serenity only wanted her near them for her good looks and being a magnet for rich, attractive men.
She valued La’Nova’s opinion more than she let on. Whenever she spoke life into her, she listened closely, storing every word like it was something precious.
“OnlyFans ain’t the problem,” La’Nova stated plainly. “The problem is when it becomes the only door you think you got to walk through.”
Serenity’s fingers stopped tapping the table. She swallowed down the lump clawing its way up her throat and straightened her defeated posture.
“You smart, Renity… I tell you that shit all the time. You’re observant, and you’re able to read mutha fucka’s… doesn’t matter if it’s tricks or bitches, you read thoroughly. You just a woman like myself that carry yourself like somebody who been figuring shit out alone for too long. That in itself is a real skill. I’m not gon’ sit here and judge you when I’m trying to find my new purpose as well.” La’Nova’s eyes flitted toward the water where she found peace in watching the waves as she continued to talk.
“I got money, but don’t know what to do with it.” She shrugged. “I finally got the freedom that I fought blood, sweat, and tears for but don’t know which direction in life I’m trying to go. I might even be blinding myself more by entertaining a man that I can’t get off my mind when we are apart.” La’Nova chuckled dryly.
“I’m not gonna lose faith in myself though. I feel it in my bones that something is going to come to me. Shit doesn’thappen overnight. Make your money and open your mind to new possibilities. We both can do it together.” La’Nova suggested.
“I’m not telling you to stop nothing overnight or that you in the wrong profession. What I am saying is start building something that belongs to you outside of what people expect from your body.”
Serenity frowned, confused by what La’Nova had just said.
“Like what?” Her question came out honest, like she genuinely didn’t know.
“Now bitch,” La’Nova held up her index finger. “I ain’t no damn therapist, I just told yo ass I’m trying to figure this shit out for myself too.”
They both laughed together before La’Nova’s got back serious.
“Short-term first. That’s how we got to start this shit. My first short-term goal was to open up a bank account since I never had one.” La’Nova smiled.
“My next short goal is to open a business account, then get a certification in something. You can do that too. It doesn’t matter what the certification is… Nails, real estate agent, or assistant license.., Medical front desk training, just something that gives you a second lane in case something crashes into the first lane.”
Although La’Nova was giving advice, she started to really listen to it herself. A few ideas popped into her head.
“Ohhh!” Serenity perked up excitedly.
“It don’t matter what drought a bitch is in! If a hoe broke or down on their luck, they gon’ want a fresh set of nails and a hair do!” Her smile widened.
“Bingo.” La’Nova snapped her fingers.
“I paid two-hundred and thirty dollars for my nails, feet, and eyebrows. Imagine doing six clients a day? Shit, imagine learning how to do micro-shading or lashes? You can take that OnlyFans money and invest it into a beauty shop.” La’Nova smirked, rubbing her thumb and index finger together.
