She lived on eggshells, never knowing what mood he was in. He never acknowledged their son but loved his daughter. When she first realized Kentrell’s favoritism with her kids, the little love that she did have for him diminished. Sanarah went from wearing a size twenty-four to a size sixteen. She lost weight,looked older, all from stress and deep depression of her current situation.
The bottle warmer dinged softly. She turned and almost dropped it.
Luca stood at the kitchen island; Roy stood beside him. Both of them were dressed in black, their faces void of emotions. Sanarah’s heart slammed into her throat. Her breath caught so hard it burned.
“Illl Na Na.” Roy drawled lowly.
He cracked a sinister smile, rubbed his hands together, then leaned against the marble countertop.
“What—” Her voice cracked. “What are y’all doing here?”
Her eyes left Roy’s, landing on Luca. All the old feelings she had for him resurfaced. Sanarah forced herself to stand still when she wanted to run into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. Luca stood tall, looking like a Greek god. His woodsy, masculine scent dominated the kitchen space. His dark eyes never left hers.
She felt small under his watchful gaze. He studied her, took note of all the bruises along with the bags underneath her eyes until it was too much for him to keep looking at. Luca looked away then tucked his hands in his pockets.
“Damn Na Na… you had kids with my nigga brother?” Roy’s voice snapped Sanarah back into reality.
A tear rolled down her cheek just as her baby boy started to fuss. Sanarah clutched the bottle tighter and made her way to her son quietly. Avoiding the obvious question, she used the blanket to prop on her son’s chest. Kentrell Jr. didn’t need any props. Hegreedily clutched each side of the bottle and started drinking hungrily.
She heard Luca take one step forward, her eyes filled instantly. Tears spilled before she could stop them. She felt hot all over with humiliation. This was her karma that she had to come face to face with.
“You hurt,” Luca whispered.
Sanarah’s chest tightened, she hadn’t heard his raspy whisper in years. It caressed her ears, made butterflies swarm in her stomach as she finally willed herself to stand and look up into his eyes. Fear left her immediately. Luca didn’t eye her with hate nor resentment. He eyed her with understanding.
“I’m fine,” she lied too easily. “Just please don’t wake him,” she pleaded.
That did something to Luca. Despite him never wanting to rekindle shit with Sanarah, it was sad to witness her complete brokenness. Sanarah used to glow, her cashew smooth skin used to be flawless. Luca overlooked all of her imperfections when they were together because she had a beautiful aura attached to her that brought him peace when no one else could.
“You protecting him, too.” Luca’s voice this time didn’t come out in a whisper. It was low and hoarse.
Goosebumps spread across Sanarah’s arms. She shut her eyes then shook her head in denial.
“You don’t understand, I know you will never forgive me but for what it’s worth… I’m sorry.” She backhanded her crocodile tears away, hoping that her apology reached him. A small part of her prayed that he accepted it.
“I understand enough,” Luca coldly responded.
Roy glanced toward the hallway.
“He’s sleep?” He turned his eyes to Sanarah.
She slowly nodded her head at Roy then released a sigh of relief.
“He just came down a couple hours ago… It’s better if y’all come visit him another time. He gets angrier when he’s embarrassed. That’s something I’ll have to deal with, not y’all.” Her knees buckled slightly.
She leaned against the counter, sobbing silently so the sound wouldn’t carry. Pain rippled through her body, she hoped that Luca and Roy would understand and just leave since they clearly weren’t here to save her.
“You miserable as fuck, Sanarah.” Roy shook his head in disappointment.
“You ain’t even have to go out like this.” He continued.
His words chilled her but made her cry even harder.
Luca moved close enough to smell her faint floral smell. He refused to touch her, just wanted her to feel the heat of his presence.
“I’m sorry, Luca,” She blinked away her tears as more spilled out. “I missed you, tried to call you when you first got out.”
Her words hung heavy in the space between them.
