I recoil at her words.
“Did you just quote that dumb book of horseshit?” I ask.
The Code is the closest thing we have to a religious text. There was a single, unified faith before called the Church of the Forgotten Light. But ever since the regime was established, it became forbidden to worship as per Article III, subsection 4.
All religious practices and doctrines are hereby dissolved. Any expression of spiritual devotion will be prosecuted.
I snuck into one of the old chapels, years ago, with Grayson. We broke down the boards that sealed the door and stared at the mural on the wall. There was a bunch of angels and saints, candles and fireflies. It tore the breath out of my chest. Beauty like that had faded a long time ago. It felt like we had fallen into an old world.
“I don’t mean she deserved it,” Mercy says quickly. “I just… understand why it happened. Even if it was a tragedy.”
“Do you think I should be killed?” I ask.
The question hurts more than I expected. I never thought I would have to ask my own twin, but if she can condemn our mother so easily, then I must be on par with the rebels. Because they are not the only ones evading the Bind. I cheated the system too.
I may not be with the Resistance, but I am a criminal.
When we were six, the enforcers came to our house along with a lab technician to test us. I had just begun to show signs of my gifts. Mother said I was a Timebender who was able to stop and control time.
The lab technician had drawn Mercy’s blood first, and she had been identified as a Common. When it was time for mine,Mom asked me to freeze time so she could make Mercy and me switch places. Mercy’s blood was drawn twice that day.
Mother never wanted me to reveal the truth. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. All of the Gifted are classified as either Class One, Two, or Three. And all Class One powers are illegal. They are deemed ‘too dangerous’ by the regime. Those who possess these abilities are called Untamed.
I am an Untamed. I wouldn’t even qualify for the Bind, because I am not supposed to exist.
I leap out of my bed, refusing to hear what Mercy says next. I know her thoughts on this. I’ve heard it a million times.
“I just don’t understand, Haven,” Mercy whispers. “This…this secret is dangerous. If they ever learn that you hid your powers, then they will execute you. Maybe Warrick wil?—”
“Warrick will protect me?” I laugh dryly. “Like he protected our mother?”
“Mother lied to us,” Mercy says, frustrated. “There is so much we did not know about her.”
Our mother never told us the whole truth.
Warrick rarely spoke about her at all, as if saying her name might fracture something he’d sealed shut a long time ago. Sullivan told me once that she had been a researcher in Division Two and had been working on an advancement to the Bind. Sullivan says she was forced to step down, that she was too curious for her own good, and misused her clearance badge.
“She fought for me, and I’m certain that if she joined the Resistance, it was because she believed in their purpose,” I say.
“Why can’t you see that you are taking the same path that she is?” Mercy says desperately. “I can’t lose you, too, Haven. I can’t watch another person I love die.”
Mercy’s face is pale, and I can hear the stuttering sound of her waning breath. She curls into herself, as if that will stop the burgeoning attack.
I race to her side, watching her eyes widen in horror.
“You are okay, Mercy,” I say gently. “Remember what I taught you. Inhale. One, two, three. Exhale. One, two, three.”
Mercy struggles to follow my instructions, and I grip her hand tight.
“You can do it, Mercy,” I say encouragingly. “Just follow my lead.”
Mercy inhales, and by the third try, she looks fairly better, and my shoulders drop in relief.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I thought those didn’t happen anymore.”
“They don’t,” she says, avoiding my gaze. “I’m just scared that I’ll lose you and be all alone.”
“Nothing will happen to me, Mercy,” I promise. “I’ll be careful. Always.”
