He leaned down close enough for me to see his eyes. As dark as a moonless night. I felt dizzy looking at him.
“It is too late for promises.”
The memory fades, but the tight knot in my chest doesn’t. I blink, returning to the room and back to him.
He watches me carefully, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It’s odd how much he looks like me. The same ebony hair, the same face devoid of emotions. The only difference is our eyes. My blue eyes are a gift from my mother.
“You remember how easily you broke before I fixed you,” he says.
I stiffen, instinctively touching the base of my neck, the spot where the Bind rests. I got a prototype one that was never put into production. It was supposed to ‘fix me,’ as my father says, but it didn’t. I am still everything he despises.
“I taught you to always put duty over love, yet you embarrass yourself fawning over that Common.”
“If she is so unworthy of me, why set the engagement?” I ask.
His jaw clenches. I know the answer without him even speaking. It’s Warrick. He has something over him. His silence is confirmation enough.
“Do not question me,” he says. “I will handle this.”
His words make me uneasy. I swallow hard, my hand folding into a fist. The memory of my childhood, the Betterworld, and my freedom haunt me. I don’t want to lose everything again. Not that I have much to cling to this time around.
I was different after. It was hard to picture in what ways because I was so young, but I don’t think I was always like this. Cold, hard, indifferent.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
He walks away from me, pasting a bright smile on for a few of his acquaintances, as if he didn’t spend the last five minutes berating and threatening me. And now, it seems he plans to ignore me.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I tense. I glance back to see Haven; her brows are creased.
“Are you okay?” she asks. “That looked intense.”
“I’m fine,” I say.
“He seems worse than Warrick,” she says with a wry smile. “I guess you win the award for ‘Worst Father’.”
Her smile eases the tension in my shoulder and wipes away the sting of my father’s harsh words.
“Do you always use your humor as a coping mechanism?”
“Only on days that end in a y.”
My mouth twitches, but I clamp down on it. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she is funny.
A bell tolls, signaling the beginning of dinner.
It’s going to be a long night.
chapter
thirty
Haven
Dinner is a lavish affair. Platters of roasted duck glazed with a blackcurrant syrup sit on marble plates. Pears and cantaloupes are carved with precision, their pastel flesh molded into various forest creatures like swans and bears. Candied nuts and iridescent jellies are stacked on a cart alongside flaky pastries. Our initials are pinned to each dessert, wrapped in edible gold flakes.
It is excessive and unbearable.
Ender and I eat in silence. After those terrible encounters with the men who raised us, the mood has been rather somber. Ender’s mind is far from reach. For one split second, I think about cheering him up, but I discard the idea as quickly as it appears. Tonight has made me realize that my sister and Ender are unlikely allies. I would even go so far as to say that they may even be friends.
