“Look,” Forest said, “that’s all I know. And it’s not like I spoke to her.”
“But you saw her?”
Forest gave a sharp nod. “I watched her climb into a helicopter, but it wasn’t like she was running to me to say good-bye.”
“I wouldn’t expect she would,” he said, teeth gritted with anger. Anger and jealousy.
Not that he needed to be jealous of Forest. The man was into dudes. It wasn’t right. Forest had been able to at least wave good-bye. Ryker had done nothing. Nothing because she hadn’t bothered to send a fucking note.
“Look,” Forest said, trying to soothe Ryker but his deep, gravelly voice grated on Ryker’s nerves, “Tia probably didn’t have time for a good-bye, and to be honest, it’s a good thing.”
“How is that?”
“Because Vane was standing right there. He’s the one who messaged me. I barely got there in time to see her off.”
A growl grew in his chest and rumbled out, low and menacing. That should have been him.
“What?” Forest said, taking a step forward.
Ryker wasn’t used to being the smaller man in a confrontation, but Forest was a mountain. As he stepped into Ryker’s personal space, he found himself taking a step back. He wasn’t mad at Forest, and as misdirected as his anger was, it wasn’t fair to level it at Forest.
“Vane has it out for the two of you.” Forest slapped his hand on his thigh, brushing off a cloud of ever-present sand and dirt. He stepped back and dropped his shoulders. “I’m thankful you weren’t there. The last thing the two of you needed was an overly affectionate good-bye.”
“It was my team,” he said, jabbing his fingers into his scalp. “I should have been there to wish them well.”
The entire purpose of a special ops surgical team was to drop behind enemy lines, brave hot zones, and stabilize the wounded for evacuation. Tia was out there without him to back her up. She’dcastrate him if she ever realized how much of her burden he shouldered.
Who would help her now? Warren? That man had two boys and twins on the way to get home to. Warren would never take a bullet for Tia. Drummond and Marks? They were arrogant assholes, cocky as hell and hell-bent on strutting their greater-than-thou stuff. They were good guys for the most part, but they had wives and kids, too. Maybe Collins? Collins might be the only one to place himself between Tia and a bullet, but he wouldn’t do it unless there was no other choice.
“Shit, Forest.” He was back to pacing in a circle. “She’s out there all alone.”
“Not alone,” Forest said. “She’s a tough cookie. Don’t you trust her?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then, trust her to do her job. Like every other mission. She’s tougher than nails.”
“I know, but they went out with a new guy.”
A man who’d taken Ryker’s place on the team. A man who hadn’t yet been vetted on a training mission. He’d heard Tech Sergeant Miles had arrived yesterday. The guy had barely had time to recuperate after the marathon trip to Bagram. He’d be a liability.
“There’s nothing you can do about it,” Forest said. “So, why don’t you shove all that lover-boy angst inside your trap and focus on what you need to do?”
Was Forest really suggesting what Ryker thought? How was he to act like Tia wasn’t out there, putting her life at risk?
“Play for the fucking band,” Forest said, jerking Ryker to a stop. “You fucking put on your big-girl panties, plaster a smile on your damn face, and play your fucking heart out. This is what you people do. You fight. You die. You fucking live!” Forest’s growl turned to aroar. “These guys don’t have an escape from this place. They live it, breathe it, sleep in it, and fuck it every day. You know this because you’re one of them. You don’t get to freak out because your girlfriend is out there, doing what she loves. If you have any respect for her at all, you’ll do your part, too.”
“My part?” He snorted. “You mean, stand onstage and look pretty?” He belonged out on that mission.
“You’re a fucking ass, Ryker, but yeah. You get on that stage. You look pretty. You make that music roll off that stage and sweep them away to another place. You give them one moment of not being tired, bored, or scared as fuck. You let them forget how fucking lonely they are. How they have left loved ones behind and are placing themselves at risk every day. You get up there, and you blow this place up.”
“You’re a fucking bastard,” Ryker said.
“A bastard who tells the truth. You know I’m right.”
Admitting the truth of Forest’s words didn’t come easily, but the bastard was right. He was right about all of it. Ryker’s job might no longer be by Tia’s side, but she didn’t need him. He might think he protected her, sheltered her, but Tia didn’t need anybody. She was brass balls and steel tits. That was why he loved her.
Shit, he loved her.
