A keening cry escaped her throat. It hurt so bad. Her heart rattled behind her rib cage, thundering with betrayal and the loss of her future. It felt like her heart was going to explode.
“T!” Lyons backed her up against a wall and behind a stack of crates and supplies.
He towered over her, his broad shoulders and rippling terrace of muscles impossible not to notice as they angled down to the V cut of his waist. And his pants outlined just enough of a bulge beneath his uniform to make her throat go dry. These were not the thoughts she needed to be having about Lyons.
But it did give her an idea. Turnabout was fair play. If Scott could fuck some chick while she was away, saving lives, then there was nothing keeping her from doing the same. She needed a revenge fuck. It wouldn’t hurt Scott. He’d already shown her exactly how unimportant she was, but it would make her feel better. For a time.
She fell back against the building and slid down. With her butt on the ground, she folded her legs to her chest and buried her face against her knees. Deep, sobs billowed up from her throat and crawled out into a gut-wrenching screech. She hated Scott. She hated Lyons. She couldn’t afford for him to see her like this.
“Go away!” she yelled. “Just leave me alone.”
He squatted down, hovering over her, but when she refused to look him in the eye, he vented a deep sigh. Without a word, he shifted. Twistingaround, he mirrored her pose. Back against the wall, he brought his knees up, but where she plastered her tear-stained face against her knees, he propped his elbows and tilted his head back against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You deserve better. You deserve to have a man worshipping at your feet. I’m sorry about what I said about him. I never meant it. I was just teasing—shit. What can I do?”
Why was he upset?She was the one whose life had fallen apart.
“Can’t you just leave me alone?” She stopped crying long enough to get a few words out.
“I’d never leave you alone, T. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
Well, she wished he were that kind of man. She wished a whole lot of things. Right now, all she could think about was getting back at Scott. She’d fuck the whole base if she thought it would piss Scott off. If it wouldn’t mean the end of her career, she’d consider doing something a whole lot worse. Except she couldn’t do that to her team. And she wouldn’t do that to Lyons. But, with her heart breaking in two, she’d have to do something to put Scott firmly in her past.
SEVEN
Revenge
She would’ve stayedin that small gap between buildings for days if possible. Lyons’s presence comforted her. His strength fortified her, but most importantly, he didn’t force her to share any of her messy emotions. His silence became a bastion of strength in an odd and comforting way. It surprised her how easy it was to simply sit beside him and let her tears fall until they stopped completely.
He said nothing, which was a good thing. As the anger built within her, her thoughts turned dark, selfish, and entirely unprofessional.
As one of the few women on a forward-deployed base, she had an unusual opportunity to hunt men for purely carnal release. The only thing she needed to figure out was how to do it. Who to do it with. And where to do it, so she didn’t get caught.Did she fuck the first man who crossed her path? Was a revenge fuck even worth it? Why not? Why was she held to a different standard merely because of her sex?
Fuck convention. Fuck Scott. Fuck her fucking life.
Some nameless man wasn’t going to solve her problems, but he might fill the emptiness for a moment. It had been nearly six monthssince her deployment began. Six months of unfulfilled dreams. Six months of waiting for a reunion with a man who loved her but was no longer in love with her.What the hell did that even mean?
She gripped the fabric of her BDU overblouse and twisted her fingers. It hurt so damn much.
“I’m tired,” she said. “I’m just so damn tired.”
“T,” Lyons said, “it’s not the end of the world. That asshole is a douche bag. He doesn’t even know what he lost. You’re worth so much more.”
“Easy for you to say.” It soured her gut for him to see her this way. “You weren’t engaged. He was my one.”
Except, right now, it was Lyons’s presence that fired her pulse and sent it racing, and it didn’t help when he moistened his lips with his tongue. Her fingers fluttered as she pressed them against her temples.
His head canted as he studied her. “No, he wasn’t.” He leaned against her until their temples touched. “He wasn’t your one.”
Perhaps Lyons was right about that. She didn’t need her one. She needed someone who could be her right now. Lyons’s proximity heated her blood, but he was the last person she could do anything with. She needed to get away from him before he filled her with more than the smoldering presence of his heat. She considered her retreat and climbed to her feet. Lyons followed suit, mirroring her actions and moving to stand in front of her.
“Well, I’m tired of saving myself for a man who doesn’t appreciate me.”
“Good.” Lyons’s eyes locked on her face. He reached out and cupped her jaw. The thick calluses of his fingers scratched against her skin. “Like I said, you’re worth more.”
She pried her gaze away from his, but he remained frustratingly close. His exhales seared her skin, making her shiver despite theheat. They’d worked in close proximity for months, but this was the first time her heart missed a beat in his presence. He inched closer, maneuvering into a position that brought his lips achingly and dangerously close for a kiss. They’d passed hours and days in easy conversation in the field, but now, she found it difficult to breathe or form a coherent thought in his presence.
Ignoring the tingling in her chest, the hitch in her breath, or the unmistakable throbbing between her legs, she turned her head. “I know,” she said, “and I’m going to prove it.”
