Anubis argued, "Dig deep into your emotions. I want you to feel sorrow for the death of your father, rage at the possibility that your fucking mother could be the one responsible, and an intense desire for revenge for all she has done to you. This woman," he gestured to the actress portraying Star's mother, "is not your friend at this moment. She is the embodiment of wickedness, and she must be stopped."
“But...” Star started but was cut off.
“Have you ever been hurt by someone you love, and the more you think about the pain, you almost want to kill them?”
"Yes," he uttered, his gaze fixed on the ground. Hehadkilled someone, and he had gone to prison. He had never expected his first acting role to bring up such intense emotions—ones that were still so raw to him. Even with his second chance, he hadn't been able to forgive himself for what he had done, and he didn't think he ever could. That was why he had chosen to stay far away from Thornton; the farther away he was, the easier it would be for him to forget his past life.
“Then use that as your method. Use the anger and finish the damn scene!”
He went to walk away but stopped when Star spoke. “I don't want to.”
“What did you say?” Anubis asked, his tone laced with more anger than a few seconds ago.
Star raised his head, looking into the other man's intimidating gaze. “I don't want to do this scene,” he said, his voice quavering. “I just can't do it.”
Anubis said, challengingly crossing his arms over his chest, "What's your best argument? Give me one good reason!"
The haunting thought'I am a murderer'reverberated in Star's mind, yet he kept quiet. There was nothing he could do, and he knew he was passing up a great opportunity. He thought about just getting through the scene as quickly as possible, but he couldn't bring himself to pretend to kill someone.
The director sighed deeply, shaking his head with a hint of sadness in his voice. "You've let me down."
Star was disappointed in himself, but for some reason, hearing Anubis say that hurt worse, so he looked away from the other man and tried to ignore the stares of the entire cast and production crew staring at him in shock, anger, and pity.
“If you can't do a simple scene like this, how do you expect to make it in this business,” he sneered. “Get your shit and get off my set.”
Star gasped, looking up at him in shock. “You're—”
“Fired,” Anubis finished for him, then he walked by Star, who was slightly surprised.
“I... I'll do it,” he said before the man could get too far, coming out of his stupor. Turning, he yelled, “I'll do your fucking scene.”
Anubis stopped walking and looked at Star for a few seconds too long. He thought the director would turn him away. “If you waste any more of my time, you're done in the industry.”
And I'm going to make you eat your fucking words,Star wanted to say, but instead, he nodded. “I understand.”
“All right, everyone, let's get this scene in one take,” Anubis ordered just as Fiona approached him worriedly.
“Star, are you okay? I called Vivienne, and she's on her way.”
“Tell her not to come,” Star said.
“But you don't look so good.”
“I'm okay,” he said, assuring her.
“If you can't do the scene, we'll find something else for—”
“No,” he said, cutting Fiona off. He took a deep breath before speaking, and his tone was engaging. "I overreacted," he said with a smile, hoping it reached his eyes. He then pointed to the far corner of the room. "Go stand over there and watch what I can do." He winked at her before turning to get started.
Star walked over to Joy McKoy, the actress playing his mother. He wanted to apologize for holding up everyone, but the director wasn't wasting any more time on idle chatter.
“All right, let's get it done.” Anubis looked directly at Star, who turned away from the director's gaze.
Star took several deep breaths to center himself. He closed his eyes and only opened them when he heard the word action.
* * *
Anubis was annoyedwith his crew and himself. He was not supposed to be directing the episode, but the original director had a family emergency, and that bastard Azazel pulled a favor and asked Anubis to take over. Anubis was going to tell him to fuck off but changed course when he saw that one of the guest actors for the episode was going to be Star. Before even reading the script, Anubis told Azazel that he would make changes if he didn't like it. But the script was pretty solid. Yet, he felt that the character Star was playing needed more depth, and for two days worked with the writers to make the necessary changes.
