Chapter One
STAR
Seven Years Ago
He stared at his blood-soaked hands, trying to determine where the blood was coming from. He didn’t remember cutting himself, but even a tiny nick wouldn’t cause so much blood.
"You killed him!" Star heard a shrill voice say. Raising his head, he saw a woman crouched in the corner.
Her face was stained with blood, making it difficult for him to recognize her or understand why she was in the apartment he shared with his lover, though they pretended to be only roommates. There was something strangely familiar in her squawking, and all Star wanted was a moment of silence to process the situation.
“Who…” He tried to speak, but the woman shrieked again, making him cover his ears.
“You murderer!”
“Mu—” Again he tried to speak, but the next second he felt an excruciating shooting pain all over his body, shaking violently before falling to the ground. Not long after, there were voices he didn’t recognize speaking all at once, and he didn’t understand what they were saying.
He was so confused. Questions swirled in his head as activity swarmed around him.Who were all these people? Who is that woman? What is she doing in my apartment? And where did all the blood come from?
Where is my lover? Where is Thornton?His heart sank as he dreaded the answer.
* * *
Present
Star sighed heavily, gazing up at the broken ceiling while trying to block out his cellmate, Dent's, snoring. He reflected on when his life had taken a downward turn seven years prior. He had been a fairly well-known model, backup dancer, and background singer, but he had started transitioning his career into becoming a serious actor.
It all started when he was six years old and was cast in a community play. Though it wasn’t the lead role, the adults had been impressed enough with his performance that they showered him with compliments. What meant the most to him was that despite being busy, his parents had taken time off work to come and watch him perform. His mother had held him close, flooding him with hugs and kisses, calling him her little star.
Star came from humble beginnings in a small town in Virginia. His father, Gammon—or Gam, as most referred to him as—had worked himself to death building a small clothing store, which later had to be sold to cover his debts and funeral costs. That was when Star's bad luck began, as not long after his father's death, his mother, Latoya, died in a car accident when he was twelve years old.
His aunt Kali, his mother’s younger sister, and her husband, Fuse, took him in. However, it wasn’t out of the kindness of their hearts, as they made it clear they were unhappy about having him around. He was fed, sheltered, and clothed but ignored and excluded from any family outings. Star never complained and eventually left when the time was right.
A sound outside Star's cell pulled him from his thoughts momentarily. He hated his current situation, but he could not pretend to be an innocent party. He had killed a man, although it was not premeditated, nor could he claim self-defense. He was guilty of the crime.
A crime of passion was what the prosecution called it.
His defense lawyers didn’t seem to have much of a case since he was caught with the murder weapon, and was covered in blood. Not to mention the eyewitness. Star had acted in a jealous rage when he saw his lover in the throes of passion, making love to someone else in their bed. Over the past seven years, Star wondered why he had not walked away when he caught them, but at that moment, it was as if he had snapped and been possessed by an unknown force.
To this day, Star only remembered bits and pieces of what happened. He knew there was a trial and that the jury didn’t need to spend days or even hours before returning with a guilty verdict. Star closed his eyes, trying not to think about his actions. If his parents were alive, they would be ashamed of him.
Star had a pretty hard life after the death of his parents, but he also had to admit that there was some good fortune. He’d been living in Hollywood for almost four years, going to drama school full-time and working as a server part-time at a diner when Thornton Nash discovered him, and it didn’t take him long to get his first modeling gig. More opportunities came his way when word got around that he knew how to sing and dance.
Even though he was new to the game, Star was hot and on a roll, and there was nothing he couldn’t do. And more importantly, he had—or thought he had—the best person taking him to the top. It didn’t take Star long to realize Thornton’s charming smile and sweet words were filled with lies and heartbreak.
Star slammed his eyes shut, squeezing them tightly, trying to hold back the onslaught of a panic attack he got every time he thought of Thornton. But the cracked ceiling he had been gazing at started spinning, his heart was beating so loud and wildly that it lost its rhythm. His throat went dry as his breath came out in short pants.
Star's hands trembled, his palms were soaked in sweat. Refusing to open his eyes, tears streaked down his face as he frantically tried to control his emotions. He was desperately trying to avoid being sent back to the psych ward and being drugged and forced to talk about his feelings. His relationship with Thornton was a secret—even from his closest friend, Vivienne. In today's society, same-sex relationships were still frowned upon, and couples were persecuted if discovered. However, those with money and power were privileged enough to indulge in such relationships without fear of repercussions. After all, Thornton had given Star to a few influential people in Hollywood and even a handful of government officials to be used as a bargaining chip in their dealings.
Although Star thought women were beautiful he was not attracted to them, he knew from an early age that he was gay. His ideal partner was a strong, dominant man who could both punish and reward him, depending on his behavior. Unfortunately, his relationship with Thornton was not the perfect love story he had hoped for. At first, Star felt protected and cherished, but it all fell apart so quickly, something he was still coming to terms with. Others knew what Thornton had done to him, yet they remained silent. Vivienne was the only person who had shown him compassion, despite not knowing about his relationship with Thornton. Had someone stepped up in his defense, perhaps the jury's ruling wouldn't have been so severe, and Star wouldn't have believed his sexuality had influenced the length of his sentence.
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” Star murmured gently.
“Yes, you did,” came a voice he recognized.
It was the voice of the man he’d killed seven years ago.
No, I didn't!Star sobbed, thrashing around in his rack, not caring if he fell off. His heart and mind were broken beyond repair.I was the fool who loved you and believed in your lies, but you cheated on me with that bitch. You sold me off to anyone who could benefit your life with her. You turned me into an addict and your whore. You never cared.
