“Baby, nothing you say will change how I feel about you. I love you.”
Tears welled in Fox’s eyes. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words to me. But after I tell you everything, I doubt you’ll ever want to be with me.”
“Don’t say that.” Alistaire could feel Fox’s nervous tension and tried to soothe it with words of comfort. “I won’t leave you, promise.”
“Please, Alistaire. Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep.” Alistaire watched as Fox closed his eyes then opened them. He stared into his blue and green eyes. “A long time ago, there was a god named Tokala. He fell in love with a human…”
Alistaire listened to the tale remembering the book he’d seen Fox read a couple of times. “Why are you telling me about a fairy tale?”
“Because it’s not a fairy tale. I am the god Tokala, and I was punished by my mothers—the goddesses of fate and death—for going against their wishes. After my human lover died, I hardened my heart into a jewel, removed it from my body, and smashed it into pieces—vowing to never fall in love with no other. I scattered the pieces of my heart into the human realm, and because of what I’d done, I changed the course of my fate.” Fox looked away from Alistaire and smiled. “Although they punished me, I guess my mothers found a way to help me.”
He looked back at Alistaire with more tears and sadness in his eyes.
“They removed my soul, tore it apart, and sent it into the human realm. My body became a shell and withered away. But the goddesses had something else in mind. With my heart and soul scattered, they gave me a mission to find them. I had to look for my human mate. My mate is you, Alistaire. You have to believe me when I say I didn’t want to hurt you. I searched so long for you without knowing what I was looking for. And now that I found you, I can’t let you go. Now that we are fully connected, my heart and soul are fully healed. And although that seemed simple enough, I ended up transmigrating and getting reborn into so many different lives, not remembering each life I lived. The only common ground was my name. Fox.”
Alistaire stared at Fox, trying to piece everything together. He couldn’t decide if it was from blood loss or if he’d somehow lost his senses. Nothing was making sense.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“I once lived as Fox Morgan.”
Alistair stood from the bed and glared down at the man in front of him.
“What the hell did you just say?” he yelled.
Tears streamed down Fox’s face. “I’m so sorry. I accused you of loving another man when it was me all along. However, I’m no longer Fox Morgan. I am Crevan Hannigan and will always be. Through all of my transmigrations and rebirths, my memories of the past life were removed. After I died as Fox Morgan, my uncle was late to retrieve my soul and remove my memory—allowing me to move on to my next life…”
“Shut up,” Alistaire growled. “Shut the fuck up! I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing or who the hell you are, but I refuse to let you play with my heart and that of the family you’ve been tricking all this time. How dare you?”
“No, Alistaire. Please. It’s not what you think,” the other man cried. “I love our daughters and family. The Hannigans mean everything to me. I’m not playing any tricks on you or them.”
“Lies!” Alistaire carded his fingers through his hair in agitation. “I knew there was something off about you the day we met, and now I know what it is. You’re a liar, and I fucking hate people of your ilk. As of today, I want nothing to fucking do with you.”
“Alistaire, don’t say that. I love you.”
“I doubt you even know what love really means.” Alistaire walked out of the room, ignoring Fox calling his name. With each step he took, Alistaire wondered if he was doing the right thing. He tried to ignore the slight pain in his chest but knew his heart was breaking.
He’d fallen in love with a man he never knew.
***
Fox took a deep breath as he laid Genesis back down in her crib for the third time that night. He kept his fingers crossed she wouldn’t wake again. It had been a week since he’d gotten out of the hospital. Alistaire and Ava had moved out, and everything was as it was before. It was as if he and Alistaire were strangers. They hadn’t spoken to or seen each other. Fox exhaled when Genesis stayed asleep after a few minutes. He knew Genesis missed Alistaire and Ava just as much as he did, but there wasn’t anything he could do.
Alistaire had made it clear he didn’t want to see him.
Fox had stayed in the hospital a couple more days. During that time, his mate hadn’t come back to see him. Not once. Slowly backing out of Genesis’s room, Fox walked into his bedroom and didn’t bat an eye when he saw Nafri sitting on the couch.
“If you’re here to say I told you so, you can get the hell out now,” Fox told Nafri.
“Would I kick a man when he’s down? I mean. I did warn you that if you told him who you were, he’d react poorly. But you didn’t listen to me.”
“For fuck sake, Nafri.” Fox snapped, looking at his uncle. “I’m not in the mood, all right.”
“Mood or not, you need to hear when you fuck up. At least you didn’t tell the Hannigans’.”
Fox knew when he told Alistaire the man would react unfavorably to what he’d say, but he hadn’t expected their relationship to end. However, they were still mates. If things weren’t mended between them, they would remain alone for all eternity. After seeing Alistaire’s reaction, he’d decided to keep the secret of who he really was from the Hannigans. Nafri was right, and he shouldn’t have said anything to Alistaire. But he would have lived with the guilt of accusing the man of loving someone else when that very man was him. He wasn’t worried about Alistaire saying anything since he wouldn’t be able to talk with anyone else who didn’t already know about the gods living in Vale Valley or even Valleywood.
“Whatever,” he grumbled.
