"Yes," Quintus answered, not looking away from the photo. “I spoke to him, too.”
"Wh…what did he say?"
Setting the photo down, he looked at his mate. "He told me, thanks for loving you and making you smile again. And that I was the mate he could never have been. He was the one that told me I was pregnant...as crazy as it sounds."
Tears ran down Scott's cheeks, but he was smiling. "He's such a bastard."
"Why would you say that?"
"That was his way of giving his blessings. And of telling me to get over my shit."
"I'm not sure if that makes you happy or not."
"I'm happy," Scott said. "I know a few things about guilt, kitty."
"What do you mean?"
"I loved Alec. And even though I know he loved me, it wasn't enough for him to live for us. He took his own life."
"Oh, my gods," Quintus gasped in shock.
"I blamed myself for not seeing the signs of his depression and not being able to save him. With all the power given to me by Odin, I wasn't able to save the man I loved. When I came home and found him dead, everything that I was broke inside of me. It took me years to put the pieces back together again."
Quintus threw his arms around Scott, holding him and resting his head on Scott's shoulder. "It's not your fault."
"I know that, now. But for a long time, it was still hard for me to accept his death wasn't because of me. And for a very long time I was lost in a sea of despair. I gave up on everything. I stopped singing and writing music—became a shell."
Quintus finally understood why Scott had become a psychiatrist and why it had taken him so long to talk about it. He wanted to help those who were in the same state as Alec.
Shifter or human, we still deal with things that affect us in life.
"I started using his last name—never legally changing it. I guess I always knew I would one day go back to using my real name. But I became a doctor because I didn’t want to see others go through the same thing I went through when I lost Alec. When he died, I thought I would die with him. For a while maybe I was—with a dark cloud living over me. One day it all went away, and there you were standing in front of me, bringing laughter back into my life."
Quintus raised his head and rested his chin on Scott's shoulder. “You did the same for me, Scott. My focus was work and caring for my family.” He kissed the side of Scott’s neck breathing in his scent. “Seeing and hearing what you’ve done makes me want to fall in love with you more. You’ve done an admirable thing, giving up one dream for another. You're a brave man, Scottland. You're true to your heart, and I admire you for that."
Scott turned and looked at him. "Thank you." He leaned down and kissed Quintus on his forehead.
"Tell me about him," Quintus said.
"Are you sure you want to hear about my past love?" Scott asked, looking at him with uncertainty in his eyes.
"I do," Quintus answered truthfully. "We can't keep running from our pasts. It’s eating us up inside. I know you love me, and you still care deeply for Alec. He was essential in creating parts of the man I am in love with today. So yes, I want to hear about him."
"Okay," Scott said, closing the photo album. He went on to talk about Alec—starting from the time they met, up until the day he died.
A few times, Scott made him laugh with some of Alec's antics. But he also talked about the brilliant pianist who had captured his heart. Quintus expected to feel jealous hearing about the man, but he felt closer to Scott and Alec. It was hard for him to put it into words, but he was thankful he’d gotten to meet the man—even if it was in his dreams.
"Did he know about the demigod thing?"
"No, he knew I was a vampire. He made me promise not to turn him if something were to happen to him."
"Not everyone wants to live forever," Quintus whispered.
"Do you want to live forever?"
Quintus met his mate's gaze. "If it will keep me by your side, then yes I want to live forever."
Scott pressed their foreheads together. "Don't ever leave me. I won’t survive without you.“
