“I thought I was making the right choice, Brenden,” Stephen told him. “And I couldn’t have guaranteed that you would have stuck around, regardless.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you come and talk to me? But I should know the answer to that. You’re always making snap decisions, jumping head first. Four years, Stephen, you’ve kept my son away from me. You had to have known we would run into each other sooner or later.”
“I’m not stupid, Brenden, I knew sooner or later we would’ve crossed paths,” Stephen responded. “I’m not asking you to forgive me. But don’t hurt Nicholas to spite me because of my stupidity. Let him get to know the father you can be.”
Brenden said nothing. What could he say? He would be a total jackass for not wanting to get to know his kid, especially after all the shit he’d seen because of his job.
“I get it, you’re mad,” Stephen said, and Brenden grunted. “And you have every right to be. What I did was wrong, and I accept my mistake on that. But can you honestly blame me? I heard those words from your own lips, Brenden. We never talked about a future. And as much as you might deny it, you still weren’t over what your ex-wife did to you. Neither one of us expected this to happen. There were so many uncertainties working against us. And I was just starting out in my career, and having a child so soon after, it wasn’t what I wanted or expected. But I won’t take back having Nicholas. He’s a part of both of us, and I don’t regret that.”
Brenden stared at him, then shook his head. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table and picked up Stephen’s phone and looked at the kid.
I have a kid. Jiminy Christmas!
“I need time to process all of this,” he said, placing the phone down and looking at Stephen. “You can’t just drop something in my lap like being a father and expect me to not need some time.”
Stephen nodded his head. “I understand.” He then got up from the booth, picking up his cell phone. “Take all the time you need. We are not going anywhere. I told you the reason why I moved here.”
“How long ago did you move here?” Brenden asked.
Stephen looked down at the table before looking up at him. “About a month.”
Brenden clenched his fist then flattened his hand against the table. “And you’re just now telling me that I have a son?”
“How many ways do you want me to say I’m sorry? Do you want me to get down on my hands and knees?”
Brenden shook his head in disgust. He looked at the paper still sitting on the table then looked at Stephen. “I will contact you when I’m ready to talk.” Then Brenden had a thought. “Can you send me that picture?”
Stephen stared at him, then cleared his throat. “Yeah, I can do that,” he said. Stephen took the DNA results off the table and was about to tuck it back into his jacket pocket when Brenden stopped him.
“Leave the results.”
“Are you sure?” Stephen asked him.
“It’s more proof that he’s mine, isn’t it,” Brenden stated staring Stephen in his eyes.
He nodded setting the paper back on the table. He stood there for a few seconds, as if he wanted to say more.
“Is there anything else you’re forgetting to tell me?” Brenden’s tone was sharp, anger dripping with every word.
Stephen opened his mouth, then closed it again. He shook his head, then walked out of the diner. Brenden watched him walk out of the restaurant, having the feeling that there was something else going on but he did not understand what it could be. He sat in the booth for a long time trying to wrap his head around the fact he was a father. It was not news Brenden was expecting to hear when he woke up earlier that morning. Forty minutes later, his phone buzzed letting him know he had an email and saw it was from Stephen. He opened it and clicked on the file folder. More folders popped up all neatly organized. With his thumb hovering over the first file, he looked out the window and realized that it was already dark outside.
Thinking better of it, Brenden turned off his phone getting out of the booth pocketing his phone as he walked out of the diner after putting a few dollars on the table paying for the coffee he drank. Brenden walked to his car in an utter daze. He needed to process and figure out what to do next. He was thinking of taking a few days off from work. It was a jerkish move, but he sent Paige a text, canceling their date using work as an excuse. Brenden should have felt guilty for lying to his new girlfriend, but all he could feel was confusion. He got ready for bed, and turned on the television across from his bed, hoping the ballgame would take his mind off what he heard.
His phone taunted him the entire time. Giving into his curiosity, Brenden picked up his phone and thumbed open his email, going straight to the one from Stephen. Wasting no time, he opened the first file labeled first sonogram. Brenden stared at the pictures until his eyes became blurry. He looked at picture after picture and smiled at each one of them. Stephen was in a few, but all Brenden saw was his son. For the next three hours, Brenden sat and watched each and every video that was sent and tried to learn all he could about his son.
He had to give Stephen credit, he’d recorded all the important events in Nicholas’ life. His first bath, him learning how to walk, his first tooth, and his first word. All the things he missed, all the things he should have been there for. Brenden would be fooling himself if he said he wasn’t bitter about the whole thing. He felt cheated and for what? His lover’s bruised ego. Brenden was so angry he wanted to throw or break something. He didn’t think Stephen was the type of guy that would hold grudges or keep his son away from him.
How the hell am I supposed to deal with shit like this?
** ** ** ** **
For the rest of the weekend, Brenden had stayed home. He ignored phone calls from his mother and two sisters. Sunday dinners were a must with his family, his mom wouldn’t excuse him unless he was out of town or working a case. He had expected all three of the women in his life to show up at his front door any minute. Sooner or later he would have to tell his family about Nicholas.
Fuck, I have a kid.
He picked up the DNA results and felt a small amount of guilt for accusing Stephen of cheating on him. Brenden knew he was acting like a child, but he didn’t care. His life was just turned upside down. He should be happy and deep down, maybe he was. But he couldn’t stop the anger he felt at just finding out he had a child for the past four years.
How could Stephen do this to me?
