Chapter One
Brenden Smith walked into the diner off Fifty-second street, unsure of why he was there. Two days earlier, he’d gotten a phone call from his ex-lover Stephen Young. The last time they saw each other was almost three months earlier when they’d spent the night together. He and Stephen had dated for nearly a year before Stephen broke off their relationship, with an excuse that Brenden didn’t believe for one minute. But he also never fought Stephen on the issue, at the time he explained their relationship was in the way of his career.
Stephen was still new to the bureau and was just starting out in his career as an FBI profiler, and although he didn’t believe Stephen’s reasons, he understood the need not to be bogged down with a lover. Brenden looked around the diner and noticed that Stephen hadn’t shown up yet. He sat in the booth closest to the door and waited for Stephen to arrive. Flagging a server down, he ordered a cup of coffee. Sighing, he looked out the window and thought about how lonely his life had been the past couple of years. After his divorce, Brenden was a complete wreck. He’d loved Kathie and was committed to her and the vows of marriage he took. Apparently, she didn’t see it the same way.
What could he have done after walking in on his former friend and wife together? In one night, Brenden had lost his woman and friend. He drank quite a lot for a while after that, cried on Jaxson’s shoulder, and questioned if he could have been a better husband and stopped his wife from turning for comfort into the arms of another man. It was a low point in his life. He focused on work and gave up on dating for a while. Never one to care about the gender or whom he took to bed, he dated both men and women.
Brenden wasn’t looking for a partner, or wanting to get married again. He wanted to play the field. In the beginning, when he and Stephen started their relationship, it was based on physical lust, attraction, and the simple need for companionship. Brenden tried as best as he could to stay away from relationships after his divorce, but he was not willing or wanting to put his heart out there to be broken. There was something about Stephen that called to him in more ways than one. So much so that after their case was over, he went back to Chicago to see the man as often as his job would permit.
Brenden remembered the first time he saw the silver-haired man with his stunning violet eyes. He’d almost came in his pants. That was how much of an effect Stephen had on him from the beginning. Stephen was a new FBI agent walking into the office. Brenden was assigned to coordinate with the Chicago bureau on a case that both departments were working on together. Not paying attention to his surroundings, Stephen had bumped into him, spilling the coffee he was carrying all over both of them.
The slew of curses that came out of the other man’s mouth made Brenden chuckle just thinking about it. After Stephen had thoroughly cursed him out, he then apologized for his behavior after finding out that Brenden was a superior and his new temporary boss. In fact, they’d slept together not long after their first encounter.
They’d kept their relationship quiet from the team they were working with, office romances were not unusual. But there was one important thing to consider, Stephen’s uncle was also a new division director. Some of the other agents already thought, as a new agent, he was getting a leg up on the assignments he wanted. Not even Jaxson knew about their relationship, he’d only suspected that Brenden was sleeping with someone.
Brenden confirmed Jaxson’s suspicion after their relationship ended. Also, he wasn’t sure where their relationship was headed and didn’t want to give Stephen any hopes of them being more than just fuck buddies. In hindsight, Brenden realized later, after their relationship ended, they were far from being fuck buddies.
He later realized how at ease he was with their relationship, he didn’t see the need to push for anything else. Brenden was surprised how quickly his feelings for Stephen had developed, but he never told him how he felt. He was sure that marriage was off the table for him, but who knew what would have happened if he’d continued seeing Stephen.
If he got married again, Brenden wanted to make sure the person would be the last one; he couldn’t go through another divorce. He didn’t have to pay Kathie any alimony. Marriage was important to him, more so the vows he would take. He was crushed when Kathie had cheated on him. Brenden was getting older, and his mother kept reminding him he was the oldest of her three children and the only one that hadn’t given her a grandchild. She was becoming persistent in her nagging.
Brenden looked at his watch impatiently wondering what the hell was taking Stephen so long. He didn’t have all day to wait, Brenden had a date later with a lovely woman he’d started seeing a month earlier named Paige Mason, a kindergarten teacher. They’d met at the supermarket of all places. On the day he met Paige, Brenden had decided not to visit his nonna that day to help the rest of the family out that was busy rebuilding the family restaurant.
It was blown up thanks to O’Brian, an unsub from a case he and Jaxson were working on. The same case that brought Stephen back into his life. Brenden wasn’t sure if his relationship with Paige would go anywhere, they were still in the early stages of getting to know each other.
He took out his phone and pulled up the picture of his godson, Cayden. The little guy stole his heart from the moment Brenden held him in his arms not long after he was born. Looking at Cayden’s smiling face, he couldn’t help but wonder if one day he would have what Jaxson and Christen had together. Would he ever be able to fall in love and one day hear the pitter patter of little feet, running through the halls of his home? He thought he would’ve had it with Kathie after they got married. Instead, she had them with someone else.
After he had found out about her infidelity, he hated her for a while after what she did to him. He couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her. During their divorce proceedings, he let his lawyer handle the negotiation, that would satisfy both him and Katie. All he had to do was sign his name on the dotted line. It saddened Brenden that things had turned out the way they did between them. He wished her well once he signed on the dotted line only to find out later that the guy she cheated on him with left her after getting her pregnant.
Talk about two people without a moral compass.
Brenden impatiently looked at his watch again. He was getting irritated and was about to leave when Stephen showed up and stood beside the empty seat across from him. Brenden looked up and their eyes connected. Stephen was young and absolutely gorgeous, Brenden knew he was still attracted to him. His age wasn’t something that bothered him.
Taking a closer inspection, he noticed there were a few changes since they’d seen each other last. His hair wasn’t the usual silver, but blond, that didn’t suit his appearance. He also looked like he’d lost weight and that piqued Brenden’s curiosity. His expressive velvet eyes looked dull, as if he wasn’t getting enough sleep. He was wearing a black blazer paired with a black shirt and blue jeans. Even in jeans, he looked ready for a day at the office rather than small chit chat in a local diner.
Stephen had licked his lips before he spoke. “Sorry I’m late.” His voice was but a whisper.
Something was wrong, but Brenden couldn’t put his finger on what was off. He didn’t respond and looked back down into his empty coffee cup just as Stephen took the empty seat without saying another word.
The server came over. “Do you want anything, hon?” she asked Stephen.
“Sure, can I have a glass of water please, no ice?” Stephen was always polite, which was one of the many things Brenden liked about him.
He watched Stephen while he spoke with the server. He had his head down looking at the table. The feeling from a few seconds ago, that something was wrong, continued to nag at the back of his mind.
“Coming right up, sweetie,” she said to Stephen before turning to Brenden. “How about you, handsome, another refill on your coffee?”
“No, thank you,” Brenden answered. She nodded and walked off, leaving the two of them alone. Brenden turned his gaze away from the retreating server and looking back to Stephen. Brenden held back his worry and let his curiosity take precedence. “How are you?” he asked.
Stephen raised his head and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m doing good,” he answered. “How about yourself?”
His strained smile confirmed Brenden’s suspicion that Stephen wasn’t telling him the truth.
“I'm all right,” Brenden said, shrugging his massive shoulders. There was nothing left for him to say. “What made you go blond?” Brenden asked.
Stephen grazed a hand through his hair nervously. “It was for my last case.” He smiled. “Just waiting for it to grow out.”
Brenden nodded his head. That was another thing he liked about Stephen, although he was a profiler he didn’t mind going undercover to work a case. Brenden had done that a time or two for the sake of going undercover. Changing the color of his hair, wearing contacts, or getting a temporary tattoo. Frequently, after a case, he would do the big chop and wait for his hair to grow back. “So, since we got the pleasantries out of the way. Why did you want us to meet?” Brenden inquired, breaking the strained silence between them.
