Chapter Five
Stephen couldn’t take it anymore, two weeks, that was how long Brenden had been coming by his house every night to see Nicholas. At work, he pretended that Stephen didn’t exist, only speaking to him on matters that concerned whatever case they were working on. But during his nightly visits, they talked and laughed as if nothing had changed between them. They still hadn’t talked about the kiss they shared in his kitchen and Stephen was thinking they never would.
Nicholas was becoming extremely close to the other man. Despite his jealousy to their closeness, Brenden and Nicholas were adorable together; especially when his son tried to emulate Brenden’s actions. He would scowl or grunt the same way Brenden did when they sat on the couch together watching television.
Every night for the past two weeks, Nicholas only wanted Brenden to be the one to tuck him in. Stephen hated being sneaky, but he’d started eavesdropping in on the conversations between the two. Last night he heard Nicholas ask Brenden if he could be his other dad. It broke Stephen’s heart that he had kept the two away from each other for so long. Which was why he decided that the truth needed to come out.
Brenden needed to know that their night together three months earlier wasn’t just a one-night stand. He looked toward Brenden’s office and saw he was alone. If he put off the conversation any longer, he was going to chicken out of telling Brenden and things would turn out badly in the end. Pulling on his courage, Stephen got up and walked over to Brenden’s door, he stood there for a few seconds before knocking.
“Come in,” Brenden called out without looking up from his paperwork.
Stephen walked in. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
Brenden looked up. “Is something wrong?”
He was not sure how to answer that. “Mind if we take a walk, or better yet get something to eat, instead?”
Brenden stared at him for a few seconds before nodding and getting up from his desk. “Sure, I could use a break anyway.”
Stephen stepped back and walked out of the bullpen with Brenden following behind him. They exited the building walking over to the same diner they had met at before. The minute they arrived they were met by the hostess who directed them to a booth. Stephen ordered a glass of water while Brenden got a cup of coffee.
“So what do you want to talk to me about?” Brenden asked.
“I think we should tell Nicholas who you are,” he blurted out. The server came back with their drinks. She took their lunch orders before walking away.
“I agree; I’ve been thinking about that as well. And I want him to meet my family. I know my mom is going to love him the minute she meets him.”
And your family is going to hate me, but I can’t dwell on that now.Stephen nodded, looked out the window, then back at Brenden. “I heard what he asked you last night,” he admitted. “What would you have told him if I hadn’t walked into the room?”
Brenden shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his coffee before giving Stephen an answer. “I don’t know, the truth might work best. Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth?”
Their meal was delivered, and it gave Stephen some time to collect his thoughts. He ate his salad, still buying some time. Thankfully, he was starving. After taking a few more bites he looked up at Brenden. “I agree with you that he needs to know the truth, and I know he’s a smart kid. But the important thing to remember is that he’s a kid and might not understand,” he said before continuing. “I was also thinking that if you wanted, after we told him, we could work out some sort of co-parenting.”
Brenden put his burger down. “Are you sure? I don’t…”
“I’m sure, Nicholas is your son, and you guys should spend a lot of time together,” he finished with a smile.
“Thanks for this, I have to admit I’ve grown attached to him,” Brenden added with a blinding smile. “I know I haven’t asked you this, but how are you handling the transition?”
“It’s going pretty great,” Stephen told him. “It’s no different from the last department I worked with,” he added with a shoulder shrug.
They stared at each other, Brenden was smiling at him, and Stephen had to look away from Brenden’s piercing gaze. It was as if Brenden was looking right into his soul.
“Why did you kiss me?” He blurted out the question looking back at Brenden. He promised himself that he wouldn’t ask, but he needed to know what Brenden wanted from him. There were so many conflicting emotions going on inside of him. He felt as if he was being pulled in two different directions by one man in particular.
Brenden’s eyes clouded over as if remembering the kiss as if it happened minutes ago. “I wanted to,” he finally answered quietly. Stephen looked down at the table, and one of Brenden’s fingers was caressing his. He was tempted to pull away, but he loved even the smallest touch from the other man.
“We can’t keep doing that.” Stephen said the words, but he didn’t believe them.
“Why not?”
“We are not together, Brenden.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“You didn’t fight for me, you made that clear when you…”
“Are you always going to keep throwing that in my face,” Brenden snapped leaning closer. “Why are you holding on to the past?”
