“Explain things to me, Mom. Because it’s obvious you didn’t get the family memo we’d deal with this shit after I was no longer in danger.” Lucas was angry at his parents for putting his and his children’s life in danger with no regard at all.
Sighing, she closed her eyes then opened them looking at him. “A little over thirty years ago, just a little after you boys were born, I was going through a few things, and no matter how much your father tried I kept pushing him away. Understand I’m not excusing his cheating even if it was one time, but it was my fault in some small way. I felt as if I was losing my identity. I had plans for my life, and instead, I got married and had kids and couldn’t figure out what to do with myself. Don’t get me wrong I love you all, but at one time in my life, I didn’t. So, I pushed your father away no matter how many times he tried to help me. I went as far as moving out and filing for divorce. For six months, your father and I were separated, and it was the worse six months of my life. Your father wasn’t the only one who cheated, Lucas.”
“What,” Lucas yelled, surprised at his mother’s admission.
“We never slept together, but during our separation, I became close to someone I became emotionally invested in, and she made me realize I was running away rather than facing what I really wanted.”
“Does Dad know?” Lucas was so shocked by the lives his parents led, he didn’t know how to take the news.
“Yes, when we were finally ready to work things out I told him, and it was when I found out about Helen. I also went to see her, and that’s when she told me that she lost the baby. Now we know that was a lie. Seth is a sweet man, he will fit in well with our family and so will Helen and Ann-Marie.”
“Are you mental?” Lucas asked her. “Why would we want to have anything to do with them or with Dad, as a matter of fact? I feel like I’m living in theTwilight Zoneand I have no idea who my parents are. I get that you developed feelings for someone, but you didn’t give into your feelings and sleep with her.”
“You cannot be this stupid? No, I didn't sleep with her, but I wanted to, that's the point I'm trying to make.”
“I get it, all right. I get that you found someone else that you connected with; we all need someone like that. But you didn’t go as far as Dad did.”
“Don’t you mean you?” she snapped. “That’s why you’re so upset, isn’t it? He didn’t tell you everything that was going on in his life so that you could protect him.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t need to protect Dad from anything.”
Marilyn sighed and shook her head. “You idolize your father so it’s hard for you to see that he did something wrong. But guess what, Lucas, he is a man, and you are no longer a child so grow the fuck up!”
“I still don’t get what I need to protect Dad from.”
“Me, you need to protect him from me. I know you think I’m unforgiving when it comes to you and your brother, but give me some credit, Lucas, I’m not the person you think I am.”
“Clearly, I didn’t know anything.”
“I also know I coddled you and your brothers and as any parent should.But I also try to step back and let you guys live your lives because, just like your father and me, you will make mistakes and learn from them. Just like the night he spent with Helen was a mistake, and they both deeply regret it.” She reached over and took his hands in hers.
"Mom . . ."
"He’s a good man, and I love him," she said cutting him off. "I know he loves me, but there are times I tie him in knots. You're right about one thing, I had no idea about the Seeker organization, but I knew Hamilton Enterprise was more than what it appeared to be and figured Asher would tell me when he was ready.”
She got up and walked to the sink, looking down. Lucas pushed his plate to the center of the table joining hers. She turned and looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes.
“I know you must think I’m an idiot for going back to him. But even finding someone I connected with emotionally, I realized she wasn’t what I wanted. You need more than an emotional connection to make things work. That man that you once thought was the king of world is the love of my life and I will be damned if I let one mistake pull us apart. We both did things to hurt each other, and it forced both of us to get help. I started seeing a counselor, and there were times your father would join those sessions. We also made a promise to each other, no secrets, no matter how much they might hurt. It is also why I knew you were here. It took us a while to earn the trust you see today. Marriage and love are hard, Lucas, it’s not all sunshine and roses. You should know that. There are times you argue and fight, but I learned you have to not give up. We were both young, and even though we loved each other, somewhere along the line, we forgot that. So, I will only say this once . . . you and your brothers have no right to say what happens in my relationship, just as I don’t with yours.”
Lucas mentally whined at her last statement that was a definite jab at him getting married without her or any of the family there. He knew she wasn’t completely okay with it.
“Your father and I are not perfect, but we are still your parents.”
“I understand,” he said to her, and he really did.
“I truly hope you do, you’re a lot like your father, and I know that hearing what he did probably scared you into thinking that you might do the same. But you won’t.”
She was right, he’d been holding onto his anger because of that very reason but there was something more, and he couldn’t put it into words what he was feeling. “How are you so sure I won’t make the same mistakes he made?”
Walking over to him, she cupped his checks. “Because you’ve seen the outcome of what will happen if you do. I don’t think Rebecca or Tucker would be as understanding as I am.”
“Rebecca no, Tucker, I’m not so sure, he seems to be the rational one out of the both of us.” He felt a smile grace his lips and his mother gasped.
“What? What’s with that gasp?”
Smiling she shook her head. “It’s nothing.” Bending down she kissed him on his head then reached for his empty bowl of soup. “You need to eat more,” she said lifting the cover off the pot. He stood to his feet and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Thank you, Mom.” He kissed her cheek, resting his face in the crux of her neck.
