Chapter Ten
Tucker stood outside the door of Laura’s old room listening to Lucas read Zoi a bedtime story. On a whim while cleaning out Laura’s things, he kept the books and her bedroom furniture. He didn’t know how to help his lover after what he’d heard earlier that night. It shocked him that the Hamiltons had secrets; he’d always thought they were always up-front with their children, the epitome of a perfect family. Tucker wasn’t sure what he could say that would make the situation better. He was thankful for what Marilyn and Asher did because it saved his lover’s life and he was sure Lucas felt the same way. But the fact that they kept it from him probably hurt more than anything else.
“All you need to do is hold him, Tuck.”Tucker closed his eyes. Since he and Lucas slept together, he hadn’t seen or heard from his dead wife. He thought he was finally moving on after getting rid of Rochelle and Laura’s things.“I told you, Tuck, I’ll leave when you let me go fully, but right now you need to go in there and be with them.”
For once he listened and didn't argue. Pushing off the wall, he walked into the room and simply stood there for a second waiting for Lucas to notice him. Zoi was the first one to see him and sat up in bed with her arms stretched out for him. His heart melted by her actions, but it still surprised him that she wanted him around. He walked over to the bed and picked her up getting comfortable with her in his arms, as she laid her head on his chest.
He kissed her on the crown of her head as they settled back down, he nodded for Lucas to continue the story he was reading to her before he walked in. His mind drifted, and thoughts of the future came to him . . . Lucas, reading to their son or daughter . . . Zoi being a big sister teaching her baby sibling things only she could. He saw a happy life with him and his new family. He looked at Lucas and wondered if he was thinking the same thing or if it crossed his mind.
Was he hoping for something that wouldn’t happen? There were so many things wrong with their relationship, like the fact that they lived in two different states. Could he give up the job he loved and worked hard for and move to New York to be with his lover and children? Would it be selfish for him to ask Lucas to move out of New York? Even after being married and having a child, were they rushing into things?
Speaking of marriage, did Lucas want to be married again? Would he turn me down if I ask him?
“What’s with that look?”
He looked over to Lucas to see him staring at him intently. “What look?”
“The look that says you want to solve all the problems in the world but not sure how to go about doing it?”
“So you think you know me now?” he asked with a smile.
“Not really, but I’m learning your ‘I’m thinking' facial expression. Come on, tell me what you were thinking.”
“If you would want to marry me.”
Lucas stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. “When?” he finally asked after a few minutes.
Just like that?“Whenever you’re ready,” he said hoping he didn’t show his disbelief at how easy Lucas accepted the thought.
“Okay,” he said after a heartbeat. “How about next week?”
Wait, what?Lucas must have seen the question written all over his face and chuckled. “I’m kidding, well,sort of.” He sighed and set the book down on the nightstand then stood.
It was then that he noticed Zoi had fallen asleep. Lucas reached over and took her from his arms setting her down on the bed, he kissed her on the forehead while Tucker fixed the covers around her.
He realized, even with the smallest task, they worked very well together. He kissed Zoi on her forehead once more, and they walked out of the room. Instead of going to his bedroom, they went downstairs to the kitchen. Tucker got a beer and Lucas got some water, he leaned against the counter and watched the other man take a few sips before asking his question.
“What do you mean 'sort of'?”
“We are far away from marriage. There are so many things we need to figure out—like what state we want to live in. I can’t give up my job at Hamilton, not when you know how much it means to me. And I would never ask you to give up yours. I know just how much you love what you do; I hear the pride in your voice when you talk about work.”
I guess he has been thinking about it.
“But,” he said with a sigh. “I would love to be married again, to know that there are vows and a commitment between my partner and me and mean the words behind them. To know that I belong to him and he belongs to me. To see love grow between us as we connect and grow our family.”
Tucker stood with his beer halfway to his lips listening to what Lucas had to say and, truthfully, he felt the same way. They were not in love with each other but who said that one day they wouldn’t fall in love? It was scary that things were moving pretty fast between him and Lucas, but it also felt natural. As if time had sped past them and they were the ones playing catch-up.
“Let’s do it,” Tucker said.
“Do what?”
“Get married.”
“Why?” Lucas asked.
“For all the reasons you listed. I get that we are not doing this the conventional way. But what’s normal these days? We’ll figure out everything else as time passes. Things between us won’t be perfect. I’ve lived alone for a long time, and I’m a bit set in my ways. Since seeing you at the restaurant you’ve broken up the monotony I used to call a life.”
“I take it that’s a good thing?”
