Chapter Eight
Tucker knew what he did was a dick move—leaving Lucas without saying goodbye after they’d spend the night together, but there were things that he needed to take care of. He’d stayed up watching Lucas sleep because his mind and body refused to turn off. He hungered and craved Lucas’ body all night long. He thought about the times he held his wife in his arms to the way he held Lucas and waited for the guilt to wash over him that he was cheating on Rochelle.
He’d finally taken the steps and spent the night with someone since Rochelle. He felt relieved when his world didn’t came crashing down around him the way he expected. He parked in front of his house, turned off his car and sat there for a few seconds, deep in thought, trying to figure out why or how his feelings changed so quickly. He still missed his wife but being with Lucas forced him to deal with things he thought he would never let go of.
Grabbing his bag from the passenger seat, Tucker got out of the car and walked up to his front door. He stood there guarding himself before entering. He was about to put his past behind him. Once inside, he waited for the ghost of his subconscious to appear, and was elated when he was greeted with silence. Closing the door, he dropped his bag down on the sofa. Bypassing the kitchen, he went to the garage and got a couple of empty boxes.
Going back inside the house and taking the stairs two at a time, he walked down the hall and paused in front of the closed door of his daughter’s room. Leaning against the wall, he stared at the closed door, knowing that this was something he had to get over before he could move on with other parts of his life. Or to have a semblance of a relationship with someone new.
“You can do this,” he said to himself. “You have to do this.”
Pulling himself off the wall, he stepped forward, and with shaky hands, he pushed the door open; he gasped and felt a tightening in his chest similar to the way he felt the day his daughter died. Tears welled in his eyes, and his vision became cloudy. Closing his eyes as the droplets of tears streaked down his cheeks, he took in large gulps of air to stop himself from hyperventilating as he looked around the room.
It looked the same as it did the day Laura died, her bed that sat in the corner of the room with her Barbie bed covers, pictures she colored of unicorns and horses lining her walls. Walking further into the room, he stood in front of her closet dropping the box to his feet before he pulled open the doors, looking at her clothes neatly hung up, and her shoes all perfectly lined up in a row. With shaking hands, he reached forward and grabbed a few of her dresses and threw them into the boxes. With each article of clothing, he put in the boxes the pain in his chest started to ease just a bit but didn’t stop his tears from falling.
Once the closet was empty and the boxes were full, Tucker closed them up, along with the ache in his heart. Being with Lucas the night before helped him to see that he was ready to move on and try again. He pulled out his phone to bring up the one person he wanted to speak with. His thumb hovered over Lucas’ name. He needed to apologize for leaving the way he did, but Tucker felt he needed to be in the right frame of mind, no matter how much he wanted to hear Lucas say he forgave him for his insensitivity. Setting his phone down, he got back to work. He couldn’t talk to Lucas now yet, not until he was able to put his past completely behind him.
* * *
Lucas wokeup for the second time that morning to his doorbell ringing. He sat up and winced at the pain in his lower back. He had woken up a bitearly that morning and reached for Tucker only to have his fingers meet cold sheets. He felt sad, and a bit relieved at the same time. He couldn’t help his cheeks from heating up with a blush thinking about the way he acted the night before. He grabbed some sweats and was pulling his shirt over his head when Tyler entered his room. They all had keys to each other’s homes for various reasons.
“Hey, I was wondering why you didn’t answer the door, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He held Zoi, and the instant she saw him, she practically jumped out of Tyler’s arms.
“Yeah, it's fine,” he said as Zoi fell into his arms. “Hey, baby girl, were you good for Uncle Ty and Uncle Ethan?” he asked kissing her on the cheek.
“She was perfect up until it was time for her to go to sleep. She kept asking for Papa. I called Dad and let her talk to him, that seemed to work for a bit, but she went right back to asking for him again.”
Lucas looked at his daughter strangely for a second and wondered if she saw Tucker as her papa. But how? They didn’t spend a lot of time together. “Are you hungry? Where’s Ethan and Rayne?” he asked trying to tamp down what he felt about his daughter seeing something he wasn’t so sure of, considering Tucker left without saying goodbye.
“They are downstairs, and yeah, we could stay for a bit. You must be in a good mood if you're asking if we are hungry.”
“I’m always in a good mood.”
“True, but if you’re offering to make your world-famous omelet, no need to twist my arm. Heck yeah, we will stick around.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but is there anything else that you want me to make?”
“Throw in your homemade pancakes too while you're at it.”
“You’re being a bit demanding, aren’t you, little brother?”
“Hey, you offered.” Tyler smirked.
“Daddy, I want cheese,” Zoi said to him, giving him her request.
“What is her fascination with cheese?” Tyler asked.
Lucas shrugged. “It’s not any different than your fascination with everything about Ethan; from his hair to his eyes and every other thing that puts that goofy smile you’re wearing right now on your face.”
Tyler chuckled. “Ethan is quite fascinating.”
“Oh, brother,” Lucas said.
“Oh, brother,” Zoi mimicked him right after including rolling her eyes, which was something she learned from Raynebow.
He and Tyler chuckled, then Lucas kissed her on her cheek realizing that one day she wouldn’t be his little girl anymore and he wouldn’t be able to hold her in his arms the way he was now. He looked up expecting to see his brother already making his way downstairs, but Tyler was staring at him.
“What?”
