“I don’t know yet,” I say. “She might add something. She might not. That’s what the third date is for.”
Pee-Pee nods, satisfied in that infuriatingly calm way. “That sounds thoughtful.”
“Don’t say that like it’s a compliment,” I mutter.
She grins. “It absolutely is.”
Fantastic. Growth. Again.
20
Headbutted from the Inside
Christa
“Now put both handsin,” I say, angling the laptop so he can see the bowl. “Yes. Both. This is not a one-finger activity.”
On my screen, a man in a beige kitchen hesitates like he’s about to disarm a bomb.
“It feels wrong,” he says.
“That’s meatloaf,” I reply. “If it felt dignified, we’d be making pâté.”
He exhales, steels himself, and plunges in. Mince squelches. He winces.
Somewhere along the line, my goblin jobs have escalated from taste-testing cake for rich women to coaching a man in his fifties through comfort food for his future in-laws. This was not on any bingo card I ever filled out, but here we are.
“Breadcrumbs next,” I say. “And don’t be shy. They’re there to help you.”
He squints at the packet. “Is that… too much?”
“If you can still see the meat looking smug, no.”
He laughs, shoulders dropping as he mixes, and I talk him through seasoning, onion ratios, why overworking it turns it sad, all in the same calm voice I reserve for people who are one bad experience away from a lifetime of beige food.
“Alright,” I say eventually. “Tin. Gentle. Like you’re tucking it in.”
He does as instructed, steps back, and stares at the loaf like it might ask for feedback.
“You’ve made dinner,” I tell him.
His grin is enormous. “I have.”
“Put it in the oven before it realises,” I say.
The call ends. The kitchen goes quiet. My hands smell of onion and garlic and my stomach responds with a sharp, offended twist.
“Don’t,” I mutter, pressing my palm to it. “You know the schedule.”
From the dining table comes Geoff’s voice.
“Try again,” he says. “Slower.”
Lucy sighs. Loudly. “I can’t. I hate homework.”
“Yes, you can, and homework can be fun,” Geoff says. Not louder. Not softer. Just steady.
I glance over.
