“I don’t feel excited,” I admit.
“You don’t have to,” Pee-Pee says. “You just have to be curious enough to show up once more.”
I sigh, long and theatrical. “Fine.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Fine?”
“I’ll go on a third date,” I say. “I’ll stop expecting fireworks and start paying attention. If I’m still mentally reorganising my spice rack halfway through, I’ll know.”
She smiles, satisfied but not smug. “That sounds reasonable.”
“I hate that,” I tell her.
“I know,” she says.
I stand up, the sofa releasing me reluctantly.
“Dating is exhausting,” I mutter.
She smiles. “Only when you’re doing it honestly.”
Pee-Pee doesn’t look back down at her notes. She just tilts her head slightly, the way she does when she’s about to wander into territory I was hoping we’d all politely ignore.
“You mentioned Christa,” she says.
I freeze for half a second, which is unhelpful because I am standing and therefore very visible.
“I did,” I say cautiously.
“You’ve mentioned her a few times,” Pee-Pee continues, tone light, conversational, like she’s commenting on the weather and not casually dismantling my defences. “Not just today.”
“That’s because she’s… present,” I say. “Physically. In my house.”
“Mmhmm,” she says. “And in your decision-making.”
I huff a laugh. “I wouldn’t put it like that.”
“How would you put it?” she asks.
I drop back into the chair opposite her instead of the sofa, because at this point I need all the structural support I can get. “She’s my lodger. My friend. Temporarily incubating a human.”
“And?”
“And she has opinions,” I say. “Strong ones. Loud ones. Occasionally shouted from the kitchen while holding fruit she doesn’t want to eat.”
Pee-Pee smiles. “That sounds… lively.”
“It is,” I say. “She’s also very good at calling me on my nonsense.”
“So when you were on the date with Sophia,” Pee-Pee says, “Christa crossed your mind.”
“Yes,” I admit. “But not in a romantic way. More in anif-I-do-this-I-will-never-know-peace-again way.”
She nods. “And how did that feel?”
I sigh. “Annoying. Comforting. Like having a conscience with better hair.”
Pee-Pee leans back slightly. “You didn’t say you almost went back with Sophia because you weren’t interested. You said you didn’t because you didn’t want Christa’s reaction.”
