Nice evening. Good woman.
What more can I ask for?
I get home to the unsettling quiet that suggests Christa has been left alone with her thoughts.
She’s on the sofa, curled slightly to one side, an apple in her hand. She’s nibbling at it like it’s personally betrayed her. Small, suspicious bites. The look on her face suggests the apple has poisoned several people she loved and she’s only eating it under protest.
I stop in the doorway.
“Why are you eating that like it’s radioactive?”
She glares at the apple, then at me. “Because it’s a liar.”
“That’s a strong accusation for fruit.”
She takes another resentful bite and chews like she’s being paid by the hour. “Mean Pea-Lime wants more crumpets.”
“Pea-Lime,” I repeat. “Naturally.”
She exhales heavily and slumps further into the sofa. “But I cannot turn into a full-time crumpet monster for the next five months, no matter how strong the calling.”
“That sounds like admirable restraint,” I say, toeing off my shoes.
“It is,” she says. “Heroic, frankly. So Pea-Lime has to learn to eat fruit.”
She holds the apple up like it’s Exhibit A. “This is Pea-Lime’s punishment.”
I drop down beside her. “You do like apples.”
“I like apples when they’re not impersonating buttered bread products,” she says. “This one knows exactly what it’s replacing.”
She takes another bite, scowls, then sighs. “I miss your crumpets.”
Something in my chest does a stupid, unnecessary little flip.
“I can make more tomorrow for breakfast,” I say. “Emotionally supportive crumpets.”
Her face lights up immediately. “For Pea-Lime?”
“For Pea-Lime,” I confirm.
She relaxes back into the cushions and takes a slightly less hostile bite of the apple. “Fine. But if this child comes out with an exclusively carb-based personality, that’s on you.”
“Happy to take responsibility,” I say.
She chews thoughtfully, then glances at me. “How was your date?”
I shrug, casual. “Nice.”
She narrows her eyes. “Just nice?”
“Nice,” I repeat. “Like… apple nice. Fine. Pleasant. Not a crumpet.”
She snorts, then winces and shifts her weight and rubs her belly.
“Pea-Lime agrees with that ranking,” she says. “Crumpets are worth the consequences.”
I reach over and commit outright apple theft, taking a bite before returning it.
