“I don’t need to define it.”
“No.”
“And I don’t need to pull away just because it felt good.”
She meets my gaze. “Especially not that.”
I sit with that, feeling something loosen in my chest.
“You’re being thoughtful,” she adds. “You’re checking your motives instead of acting on impulse. That’s growth, Geoff.”
I huff a breath. “It doesn’t feel very impressive.”
“It rarely does when it’s real,” she says kindly. “Let moments be moments. You don’t have to categorise them immediately.”
I nod, a quiet sense of relief settling in.
“And what if I start to want more?” I ask. I keep my voice light, but my chest tightens anyway. “What if at some point this stops being… just moments?”
She doesn’t look alarmed. That helps.
“Then you notice it,” she says simply.
“That’s it?”
“That’s it,” she repeats. “You don’t panic. You don’t suppress it. You don’t make pre-emptive decisions to protect everyone from a future that hasn’t arrived yet.”
I grimace. “I’m very good at pre-emptive decisions.”
“I know,” she says, smiling. “They’re usually about control, not care.”
I shift in my seat. “I don’t want to complicate her life. Or the baby. Or turn something supportive into something messy.”
“That’s a reasonable concern,” she says. “So let me ask you this: if you start wanting more, what would be the most respectful thing you could do?”
I think about it. Longer this time.
“Say something,” I admit. “Be honest. Not act on it quietly and hope it sorts itself out.”
She nods. “Exactly. Wanting more isn’t the problem. Avoiding the truth is.”
I let that land, staring at the edge of the rug.
“And until then?” I ask.
“Until then,” she says, “you stay where you are. Present. Curious. Not borrowing trouble from the future.”
I snort softly. “I do love borrowing trouble.”
“I know. We’re working on returning it to sender.”
That gets a small smile out of me.
“You’re allowed to care,” she adds. “You’re allowed to enjoy closeness. The line isn’t wanting more. The line is losing sight of what’s actually being offered in the moment.”
I nod again. Slower this time.
“So I don’t need to solve this now.”
