“Get your mind out of the gutter, killer. It tickles, that’s all.”
His smile vanishes in an instant, his expression hardening.
“Did I say something?” I ask.
His brows furrow as he pulls back, switching off the gun. “Killer… It’s whatheused to call me.”
My mouth drops open in horror, mortified. “Oh my God, Killian. I had no idea.”
“It’s okay, butterfly. You weren’t to know.” The smile he gives me is small, there’s no feeling behind it. “He’s the reason I don’t kiss.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I’d kissed girls before I went to prison and I liked it just fine.Hemade me kiss him and ever since, the thought of kissing someone turned my stomach.”
I lean forward and peck a kiss to his lips. “Then I’m going to kiss you to make up for all the years you missed out on.”
“Look forward to it.” His brows knit, his gaze dropping to his lap. “Have you uh… had any more messages fromhim?”
“No, not since the day you saw them.” It’s true. Ever since he found out about them it’s been total radio silence. It’s like he wanted Killian to discover them and then find out he’s no longer in prison. “Do the guys know about him?”
“No.”
“Don’t you think they should? I mean, this guy’s dangerous.”
“I said no, Kaia. I don’t want them to know.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push. I just hate that you’ve been dealing with this all on your own.”
His eyes meet mine, warmth swimming in them. “I’m not on my own anymore. I have you.”
He holds my gaze for a beat before he clicks the tattoo gun back on and gets back to work.
I do my best not to flinch when the needle pierced my skin. “What made you start tattooing?”
“I fell into it in prison. I always enjoyed drawing as a kid and tattooing was a way to escape. Turned out I was pretty good at it. When I got out, I took a course so I could get my licence and I’ve been tattooing ever since.”
“And all these designs, they’re all yours?” I ask, letting my eyes sweep the hundreds of tattoo designs that fill the walls of the studio from the floor to the ceiling. Some simple, some more detailed and intricate that must’ve taken hours to draw.
“Yeah.”
“They’re incredible.”
“They give me an outlet, especially on bad days. Tattooing calms my mind, it quietens it, helps me forget. A lot of these designs came out of some pretty dark times, some were born from my nightmares.”
“He’s what you dream about, isn’t he? When you have nightmares?”
He nods. “Each one is different. Some are memories, some never happened but they’re so vivid it’s hard to distinguish between what’s real and what’s not. In some of them I even know I’m dreaming, but I can’t wake myself up no matter how much I try. I’m trapped.”
“You haven’t had one in a while, not since we’ve been…youknow.”
“The last time was the night I first kissed you, when you found me in the box room.”
“You never told me why you used to sleep in there.”
“It’s kinda fucked up considering how much I hated prison, how much I hated being locked in that cell but after a while you get used to the small space, the safety of it. It’s oddly comforting, and at least in the box room, I can leave the door ajar.”
“But you don’t mind sleeping next to me, in the bedroom,” I point out.
