I scoot closer to him, looping my arm through his. “I can’t believe she did that to you.”
“I don’t think she ever wanted me. I always got the feeling I was a burden to her, like she’d rather I wasn’t there. I guess it was her way of getting me out her hair.”
“Where is she now?”
He shrugs. “Probably still in that hell hole with a needle dangling from her arm. Haven’t seen her since. Don’t want to. But you wanna know something funny? Knowing everything I know right now, despite my mom’s flaws and issues, I would still make the same choice, because no matter how much ofa shitty mother she was to me, she was still my mother, awomanand I could never just walk away and allow her to be violated.”
“That’s the thing isn’t it? No matter what they’ve done, there’s always that part of us that’ll love them regardless of whether we want to or not. They’re our parents and we can’t change that.”
His eyes lift to mine. “Guess that’s one thing we have in common.”
“What? Shitty fathers and emotionally absent mothers?”
He huffs a laugh. “Something like that.”
I tighten my hold on his arm. “Good job we have each other then.”
A small smile touches his lips, but it soon fades. “I’m not a good man, Kaia. Your dad’s right. I’ve done things.Killedpeople. You should be a million miles away from me.”
“Are you trying to scare me away?” I manoeuvre myself onto his lap, straddling him as the swing groans beneath us.
His hands come to rest on my hips as he tilts his head back to look up at me.
“Killian, I’ve lost count the times you’ve stopped something bad happening to me since we met. If you really were the monster you think you are, saving someone as insignificant as me wouldn’t even cross your mind. You—”
“You’re wrong,” he cuts in. His warm eyes have my heart skipping a beat as they drift over every inch of my face like he’s trying to memorise every line and every tiny detail. “You could never be insignificant. Not to me.”
His gaze lowers to my mouth, the pad of his thumb dusting over my lower lip.
Is he going to kiss me?
I pray for it. My lips tingle just thinking about how it would feel.
But it doesn’t come. He drops his hand as if he’s gone too far, his gaze shifting, and I can’t help feel disappointed as the moment dies just as fast as my hope did.
“I’m gonna get an early night,” I say, climbing off his lap doing my best to hide the blush staining my cheeks. “Goodnight, Killian.”
His hands fall from my hips to his lap. “Night, butterfly.”
I’m heading up the stairs and when a text pings through to my phone, making me stop mid-step.
28
My eyes snap open as the sound of Killian’s groans seep through the walls, the same distressed cries that woke me last night. A tiny part of me wonders if I should just turn over and go back to sleep, not wanting to wear his hand as a collar for a second night in a row, that’s not to say I wouldn’t under different circumstances, if you catch my drift. But I can’t leave him to suffer the horrors that torture his unconscious mind.
I climb out of bed and pad across the room barefoot, slipping inside the box room next door where he’s sleeping. He’s facing away from me on his side, his bodytwitching as he mumbles something I can’t quite make out. During the night, he’s kicked the covers off him, they now lie crumpled and twisted by his feet, leaving him bare except for a pair of black boxers.
My heart pounds as I drop to my knees beside him. “Killian,” I say, my hand hesitant as I gently nudge his arm.
He startles awake, rolling onto his back as his hand shoots out, taking my face in his palm this time. Unlike last night, he’s wide awake and he sees me, not whoever haunts his dreams.
His hand lingers on my skin, his touch surprisingly gentle. “You shouldn’t be here,” he grumbles, his voice thick with sleep. His hand falls away as he rolls over, giving me his back. “Leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say defiantly.
He sighs. “Then I’ll leave.” He pushes to his feet and brushes past me, heading for the bedroom door.
I jump up and dart around him, blocking his path.
