His face screws up as if he’s in pain, sweat beading along his forehead. “Stop,” he pleads again and my heart squeezes.
“Killian? Killian, wake up, it’s me.” His skin is hot and clammy to the touch as I place a gentle hand on his arm.
His eyes dart open, void of recognition as his hand cuffs myneck. He drags me down onto the mattress, flipping me onto my back. He straddles me, his knees either side of my hips, caging me in as he towers above me.
“Killian!” I shout, fighting against his iron grip but he doesn’t let up. It’s like he doesn’t see me, the look of pure hatred on his face tells me he’s seeing someone else. Someone in his head.
His grip tightens around my neck and for a split second, I think he’s going to kill me.
“Killian, please stop!” I plead, clawing at his hand, desperately trying to peel them away from my throat. “It’s me, it’s Kaia!”
At the sound of my name, he seems to snap out of whatever daze he’s in. The hatred hardening his features melts away as both recognition and realisation sets in.
He rips his hand from my throat and tears himself away. He stumbles backwards and slams up against the wall behind him, his eyes wide as he stares at me.
I cough, rubbing at the soreness of my neck as I gulp for breath, taking in deep gulps of air as my heartbeat slowly begins to steady.
“Oh my God, Kaia… I—I’m so fucking sorry,” he pants, staring down at his open palms in horror like he can’t believe what he’s done.
“I—It’s okay,” I lie. It’s definitelynotokay.
“I didn’t know it was you, I thought…fuck.” Combing his fingers through his dishevelled sweat-soaked hair, he keeps his eyes firmly on the carpet like he can’t bring himself to look at me. “Are you okay? Did I… Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me. Did Ifuckinghurt you?”
“You snapped out of it before you could. I’m alright.”
He doesn’t seem convinced by my answer.
“Areyouokay? I heard you from next door. You were having a nightmare.”
In a split second, the look of vulnerability on his face is gone. It’s like he’s pulled a mask down over his face. It’s hardened.Guarded.
He swallows hard. “I’m fine.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No,” he snaps. “Go back to bed.”
“Sometimes it helps to t—”
“Kaia,go,” he repeats firmer, cutting me off.
After a moment, I push myself off the ground and walk out the door despite everything inside me telling me to stay.
I’ll let him have this one. This one time to push me away because there won’t be a next time.
He saved me, now it’s my turn to save him.
The next morning, I find Killian in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee.
His eyes lift to mine briefly, they’re heavy, the dark circles telling me he got about as much sleep as I did, meaning none. “Morning.”
I lean on the kitchen island opposite him. “Morning.”
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks, pouring another cup and sliding across the marble counter towards me.
