I can’t.
Come what may, because I sure as hell won’t give this girl up.
∞∞∞
After we’ve eaten my mom’s famous Christmas dinner, one that I’ve missed sorely since I’ve been away, Lissy begs us to watch her favourite movie, Frozen, and once we’ve done that, she drags Quinn outside to build a snowman. I watch them through the large glass doors that lead out into the back yard. Watching them together both warms my heart and breaks it. I love seeing the joy they bring out in each other, if Quinn does what she says and becomes a teacher after graduating, I can’t think of a better job for her. She’s a natural. But there’s a twinge of pain that won’t seem to go away. I’ll never be able to give her a child of her own, I know she says she can live with it, and I know I have to take her word and believe her, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
After building a snowman that is almost as tall as Quinn, she manages to lift Lissy up with a little effort to add the finishing touch, a carrot for the nose. Once they’re satisfied, they come back into the house.
“Mommy! Did you see the snowman we built?”
“I did. It looks amazing!” Tori replies.
“His name is Frosty. You know, ‘Frosty the snowman, was a jolly happy soul…’” she begins to sing, skipping out of the living room, her voice carrying down the hallway.
“I’m gonna go and change,” Quinn says, planting a quick kiss to my cheek before leaving the room.
“We see you took your ring off.” My mom nods to my hand, which no longer carries my wedding ring. I rub the space where it used to be, it still feels weird not to feel it there, but in a way it’s freeing.
“Felt it was the right time.”
My mom nods in understanding. “She’s good for you.”
“Yeah, she is. Too good for me.”
“Shut up!” Tori chimes in. “No more talk like that or I’ll smack you.”
“I’d like to see you try,” I challenge, narrowing my eyes. “I’m going to go find Quinn, won’t be long.” I rise from the couch and head upstairs.
I find her dressed in a fresh pair of skinny jeans and t-shirt, looking around the room we’ll be staying in tonight, my old bedroom which has been redecorated once or twice since I lived here. Instead of the royal blue and slate grey, it is now duck egg blue and white.
She’s flipping through a book from the bookcase in the corner by the window, and she doesn’t hear me come in, obviously too engrossed in what she’s reading. I wind my arms around her from behind and press a kiss to her neck, just below her ear and she shivers against me.
“You having fun today?” I ask.
“So much. I love being here.” She rests her head back against my shoulder, placing her hands over mine where they lie against her stomach.
“I love having you here. I loveyou.”
She spins around in my arms, placing her hands on my chest as she stares up at me. “And I love you. So much.”
“You’ve changed everything for me, Quinn, made so many things I thought lost to me, possible again… love… a future… I might not be able to give you children one day, but I’m sure as hell going to give you all of me, I’m going to be someone worthy of you, of your love. You remember when you told me that I was enough for you?” She nods. “Well you’re enough for me too, Quinn. There’s nothing I want more than to have you by my side, for as long as you want me.”
“Always and forever.”
“Always and forever,” I agree, sealing our promise with a kiss. I lift her, guiding her legs around my waist and turn us around, dropping her onto the bed as I deepen the kiss, my tongue slipping into her mouth, tangling with her own.
I want to mould myself around her, bind her to me in every way possible.
The kiss soon becomes heated and I pull back, staring down at my gorgeous girl. “We better get back downstairs.”
“You’re just gonna leave me hanging like that?”
“Consider it a sneak preview of what’s to come tonight,” I reply with a smirk and a wink.
“Can’t wait.” She reaches up and brushes her lips against mine before rolling off the bed from under me.
Nighttime is upon us before we know it, another Christmas come and gone in the blink of an eye. Early on, Lissy falls asleep with her head on my lap, and Tori carries her up to bed with her new teddy bear. My dad too, is asleep, sat in his armchair, a can of beer in his hand resting on the armrest, his head tipped back as he snores softly, and my mom is reading one of her murder mystery novels.
