What is going on?
I head on up to Amy’s room, finding her curled up in the centre of her bed with her knees drawn up under her chin. She glances over her shoulder, her eyes too are bloodshot, filled with unshed tears.
“Amy? Baby, what’s wrong?” I close the distance between us and crawl onto her bed beside her, tucking her body into mine.
She grips my hand that rests against her stomach and laces my fingers through hers. She shuffles closer and I hear the distinct sound of a whimper leave her body as it begins to shake gently.
“Baby, what’s happened?” I ask again.
“It’s David... he’s... he’s dead.” Her voice cracks and she starts to sob.
What the fuck?
“What? When?”
“Last night. He and Graham had a fight and David took off. They found him this morning. He... He killed himself, Logan.”
“Fuck...” I breathe out.
What the hell am I meant to say to that?We only saw him yesterday, how can he be gone? I can’t describe the weird feeling that settles in my stomach. I mean, sure, there was no love lost between us, but he was still someone who’s lost their life. Someone who got caught up in a situation, not too dissimilar to my own and didn’t know how to escape. He was someone Amy cared for, and despite what he did, he’s been taken from her too.
“Why do I feel like this, Logan?” she sniffs.
“Like what?”
“Like my world just ended. Again. After my dad died, I never wanted to feel that again, but now... Why am I crying for him? He murdered my dad. He tore my family apart, so why am I so upset?”
I rest my chin on the top of her head. “He’s been a huge part of your life since you were kids, you guys grew up together, of course you’re going to feel upset.”
“Why did he do it?”
“I think he did what he did out of guilt for what he did to your dad. Maybe he couldn’t live with what he did any longer so he took the only way out he thought he could.”
“But killing himself wasn’t the answer.”
“I know, but when you’re desperate, you’re not thinking clearly and you’ll do just about anything. I guess he felt like he had nowhere else to turn to.”
“The last thing I said to him was that I hated him.” She sniffs, reaching up to swipe at the tears from her face.
I clutch her tighter. “Don’t think about that. You weren’t to know what he was going to do.”
“I still feel awful.”
“It’s because you’re a good person. It’s because you’re so in tune with other people’s feelings that they take president over your own. You’re kind and you care about others. You’re a pure soul, and it’s because of that I fell hard for you. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re… incredible.” I mean every fucking word. This girl is incredible, and she’s all mine, something that still fucks with my mind.
“I keep thinking about last night, about how sorry he was. I was angry and I hated him, but I’ve been lying here for over an hour and I keep thinking about what he said, about not having a choice. Donovan forced him to do it, held a gun to his head...”
“He was between a rock and a hard place, forced to do something he didn’t want to do in order to save himself. I guess we’ll never know what runs through your mind given that choice.”
“We used to have water fights and climb the trees at the back of his dad’s house when we were little. We used to race each other up and down the street on our bikes... This one time, I fell off my bike, scraped all the skin off my knees and elbows. He gave me a piggy back all the way home, barely managing my weight on his own, but we made it.” She sniffs, wiping at her eyes again, and I gently move away the stray hairs that have fallen across her face. “I just can’t believe how things have changed in such a short space of time.”
“You probably don’t wanna hear it, but Idothink he was sorry for what he did. I’m not saying that what he did was okay, because it wasn’t, but everything that happened is all thanks to Donovan.” I grit my teeth as I force his name from my lips. How I hate that bastard. “If you wanna hate someone, hate Donovan.”
“I just hope they catch up with him. He can’t get away with what he’s done.”
“And he won’t. Karma is the biggest bitch that ever was and if there was ever a guy who deserves it most, it’s him. But for now, forget about Donovan, forget about everything. We all make mistakes, dig ourselves into holes we have no clue how to get out of, I should know. Remember David as the boy you knew growing up, keep those memories alive, because those are the memories you’ll cherish the most.”
She rolls over to face me, her eyes glistening with tears and smiles softly. “How do you always manage to say the right thing?”
