With both the sounds of chatter and the music pumping through the speakers, it’s loud enough to drown out the thoughts that have been circling my brain all the way here, or so I thought.
What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Ihave no idea how I even got to this point and where things went wrong, but one thing I’m sure of is that I’m way over my head with this one, but I just didn’t have a choice.
I lift my glass to my lips and take a long swig of my drink, the brown liquid burning a trail of fire down my throat, and strangely it feels somehow soothing.
“Logan?” I hear behind me. I spin around to find Mel, a girl I’ve been on and off with for the past few months walking towards me, and my stomach sinks. I don’t need this right now. “Hey stranger!”
What was between us was nothing romantic or anything, it was a purely physical relationship, but a while back I got the distinct feeling that she wanted more, that she was catching feelings and that is where I draw the line.
When she reaches me, she leans in and kisses me on the lips. I don’t kiss her back, and a few seconds later she realises and pulls away, clearing her throat awkwardly, settling for just slinging her arm around my shoulders instead.
“Hey, Mel. How you been?” I ask, purely out of politeness. The few times we were together, we never did the talking thing, especially not small talk, it’s tedious and boring and it’s a whole lot easier just skipping it all together.
“Great! It’s funny I should see you here, I was actually just thinking about you the other day, and I was gonna give you a call and see if you wanted to hang out sometime, but since you’re here…”
Hang out… what she really means is,fuck, and on any other day I’d be down for that, but not today, and definitelynotwith her.
“I don’t think so, Mel,” I reply and her face falls.
“Oh.” I can hear the sting of rejection in her voice.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair, trying to find the words to let her down gently. “I think we should call it a day… you and me, I mean.”
She pulls away like I slapped her. “Are you serious, after everything?”
“I’m sorry. What we had was good, but it was just sex, it wasn’t gonna last forever, you knew that.” I sound like a total asshole, I know, but I make the ground rules I set from the start crystal clear.
Sex. No strings. No commitments. No catching feelings.
“I can’t believe this. I thought we were okay, I thought we had something.”
“You knew what you signed up for when we started fucking. No strings. I’m sorry, but I made it clear I couldn’t offer you anything more."
“You’re a real dick, you know that?”
“Why? Because I’m being honest? Mel, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m sorry it’s not what you wanna hear but if it’s a relationship you’re after, you’re not gonna find it with me.” I bring my glass up to my lips and drain the contents.
“Fine, but it’s your loss, Logan. You’re the one who’s going to grow old alone, looking back on your life, wondering what the fuck happened. I hope you’re happy with the sad, lonely life you’ve built for yourself. Goodbye, Logan.” With that, she spins on her heel and walks away, leaving me to that sad lonely life she spoke of.
I order another drink, and pretend that tonight never fucking happened.
Chapter 2
Amy
“Daddy, I can’t do it!” I complain, brushing the dirt from my knees that are cut up and sore from where I fell.
I fold my legs under me and cross my arms over my chest with a huff as I stare over at the pink bike my daddy got me last Christmas, the one with glittery tassels that come out of the handle bars. It lies on its side with the back wheel still spinning.
It’s so pretty, and I was so happy when I unwrapped it on Christmas morning, I couldn’t wait to go out on it. I just wish I could ride it.
We’ve been out here forever, and I’ve tried so hard to ride it without the stabilisers like a big girl but I can’t do it. We should just give up now so I can go play in my room. Why waste more time on something that won’t happen?
I feel so stupid. I watch my friend David ride up and down the street on his bike and it looks so cool, so why can’t I do it?
“You’ll get it, sweetheart. You’ll see. Everyone has to start somewhere, even your old dad has too when he was your age.” He smiles softly with a wink, inspecting the small cut to my left knee. “Come on, just give it another try.”
