Fletcher clears his throat. “She would want you to move on, Rhonan. To find someone else to be happy with.”
I lift my head and meet his eyes. “And I feel like I’m too fucking broken to ever feel that way again.” The second those words leave my lips, I see the realization of what I just said in all three of my best friends’ eyes.
“You think you’re fucking broken?” Fletcher asks with a pinch in his brow.
Clenching my jaw tightly, I divert my gaze to the other side of the room, avoiding their eyes because the way that they’re looking at me makes me feel like I’m under a goddamn microscope.
“Broken? You think that you’rebroken? Hell, I feel like “I’m Still Standing”by Elton John should be your fucking theme song,” Henley says, pulling my attention back to him. “I sure as hell know that I wouldn’t be standing without you.”
“What the fuck do you mean?”
He looks at me as if I’m fucking stupid. “When Meghan dropped off Remy with me, who was the one who helped me land on my feet?” I don’t reply. “You, dumbass.”
“You’re one of the strongest fucking people I know, Rhonan,” Fletcher adds. “After what you’ve been through? I’m not sure I could survive that and have as much strength as you do.”
Elliot nods. “And I know that I selfishly wanted you to stay single with me, but…” He blows out a breath. “If you have a chance to build a life with someone new, you need to fucking take it. Just…be careful. Speaking from personal experience, and all that. Make sure you two fucking talk about all of the important shit.” There’s a hint of seriousness to his tone that terrifies me a bit, but I also know that after what Elliot went through with Tori, his ex-fiancée, he has every right to warn me to be cautious.
“I’m not fucking strong. I’m terrified,” I say, barely loud enough for them to hear. “I live in terror every day that life is gonna take someone else away from me.” My eyes lift to find Fletcher’s. “I don’t want to risk having another person I’m petrified to lose.”
“Then you’re letting the fear win,” Henley says. “Trust me, Rhonan. I know it’s easier said than done, but the only way you move past it is to move through it. That’s what I did when I found out I was a dad, and I’m pretty sure you’re the one who told me that being a parent was going to teach me a lot about myself, but I think being in love taught me more.”
Love.
Those four letters make my chest grow tight. I told myself that after I lost Sarah, I would never put myself in the position to love and lose someone again.
“Love is something I shut myself off from completely when Sarah died.”
Fletcher nods in understanding. “I get it, but there’s always a choice, and we wouldn’t all be human if we didn’t make shitty choices from time to time. And then some choices literally change the courseof our lives. Look at me and your sister, man. Twelve years ago, I could have made one different decision and it would have changed so much. I regret it, man. I know we ended up where we’re at now, and I’m so fucking grateful. But if I could go back? I’d do things differently. I don’t want you to live with the same regrets.”
Elliot scoffs. “I know I would choose fucking differently. I would have listened to my gut.”
Henley furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”
Elliot scratches at the scruff on his chin, blowing out a harsh breath. “I had a feeling something was off with Tori, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
The three of us share a look. “What? Why have you never said anything?” Fletcher asks.
“Because I didn’t want to fail,” he admits, his brow deepened by his scowl. “I committed to a woman for the first time in my life, and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could handle a commitment like that. I wanted it to be worth the risk, so I just…let things ride, and look how that fucking turned out.” He pushes a hand through his hair. “God, I’m a fucking piece of work. Thirty-two years old and still worried about letting my fucking parents down.”
“Work in progress,” Fletcher corrects him, darting his eyes among the group. “We all are. No one said we had to be perfect, and I think we can all agree that’s never gonna happen.”
Henley scoffs. “Ha, speak for yourself.”
Fletcher shoves him from the side as he laughs. “Jesus, focus, man.”
“Sorry.”
Fletcher shakes his head before focusing back on me. “But our goal was to change for the better right? And as long as we continue to do that, none of us can fail,” he says, locking eyes with Elliot as he finishes.Inhaling deeply, he cracks his knuckles and sits up straighter in his chair. “All right, now that we know what you two both need to work on, let’s focus on Rhonan since he has a woman at stake here and the last thing he needs to do is keep the ongoing silence between them.”
Henley nods. “I agree, but I’m telling you…all he needs to do is ask Vienna on a date. It’s the easiest first step in his situation since they’re already banging each other’s brains out.” My mind instantly drifts to my sexual escapades with Vienna thus far, and yeah—there’s definitely been some banging going on.
“And what if she says no?” I counter.
Henley looks at me as if I’m stupid. “Do you honestly think she will?”
Fletcher shakes his head before I can respond. “No way. Laney says the feelings between you two are definitely mutual.”
“Ah, yes. My sister. The master of meddling in my life.”
