He’s right. The man just bared the worst moments of his life to me, and I know that if I want any chance of a future with him, I need to do the same.
Taking a sip of wine for strength, I prepare to tell him the important things. “You caught that phrase, did you?”
“I’m a sheriff. It’s in my nature to pay attention to details.”
“Yeah, well… I wouldn’t say that I ran. I actually hate running, much like you hate yoga.”
Rhonan growls. “It’s actually stupid how difficult it was.”
His comment makes me laugh. “I tried to warn you. But does thismean you’re not going to do it again?”
He shakes his head. “No, actually, I’m going to prove that I can do it now. I hate not being good at something.” He lifts another bite of his steak to his mouth. “Back to you though. Home was D.C., right?”
“Yes, and there was someone in my life that I left back there.”
“A man?”
“Uh huh.” I toy with my hands in my lap, debating how to explain this to him even though I’ve gone over this conversation in my head numerous times at this point. But right now? Nothing I’ve prepared to say is coming to the surface. “We met when we were young and in college. He was…charming, came from a good family, and my parents adored him. As an only child, you can imagine the pressure I might have felt to make my parents happy, especially since I felt like an afterthought to them.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, they chose to have a child but then acted like I was a hindrance to their life, not a blessing.”
His jaw ticks. “I see.”
“Anyway, Cole gave me the attention I guess I was so desperately seeking, so as soon as we graduated from college, I moved in with him and we got married.”
Rhonan’s eyes widen. “You were…you were married?”
“Yes,” I say, not sure if now’s the time to explain all the details about that. “Lydia never liked Cole,” I continue. “And as my best friend, I should have listened to her more, but I was blinded by him, Rhonan. Until…”
His spine stiffens. “Until what?”
“Until things weren’t good anymore,” I say, not ready to get into everything else that made my marriage fall apart.
“Did he get physical with you?”
“No, but he was emotionally and verbally abusive. I lost so much of myself that it was too late when I finally realized that I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.” Telling him this makes me want to hide under the table, like he’s going to look at me differently now, like he might feel that the Vienna Lewis he’s gotten to know can’t possibly be the woman I’m describing right now.
Rhonan pulls me into his chest, burying his hand in my hair and breathing me in deeply. “I am so sorry, Vienna. But I respect you forleaving a relationship that wasn’t healthy. That takes a lot of courage and strength.”
His words quiet those doubts I was just thinking of almost instantly.
“You deserve so much better than that,” he continues.
“I know that now,” I whisper back.
He releases me and smooths my hair from my face again. “What made you finally decide to leave?”
“It was Lydia, actually. A few days before she died, she said, ‘I’m not going to be here to look out for you anymore, Vienna. So I need you to start looking out for yourself.’” The memory makes me grow emotional. “She died before I left, but I finally did because when you lose someone, it can make you reassess the way you’re living, you know?”
He nods. “And do you feel like you’re doing that? Living differently?”
I take a second to consider my answer. “I do in some ways. I mean, I never would have ridden a mechanical bull before losing her.” We both smile at the memory. “But let’s just say that you’re not the only one with something to fear, Rhonan. I’m afraid that I’m going to let myself get blinded again from the truth, and it terrifies me.”
He frames my face with his hands. “I can fucking promise you that I will never make you question how I feel about you, or how real this is.”
This man. God, I think—I think I might love him.
