Kitty practically yanked me out of my head with that statement.
“What kind of brain must you possess to produce such powerful drugs?” Her laugh was bitter. “The nurse in me weeps because I can only imagine what you’d have created if you weren’t in the mafia.”
“I’m trying?—”
“Don’t lie,” she snarled.
“It’s not a lie. This shit takes years to develop, Kitty. We’re talking about my cure for Red, right?”
“No. We’re talking about everything. About this goddamn C-L-O that you had up your sleeve. Fuck, he broke so quickly. The practical uses of a drug like that… in a smaller dose…” She gingerly covered her face before whispering, “What kind of monster am I? How can I be impressed? How can I want to read your notes? How can I want?—”
With a care the world didn’t know me for, a world that thought I was nothing more than a bumbling shitkicker, the fists to my siblings’ brains, I pressed a hand to her knee. “You can read them.”
“I shouldn’t want to!” she screeched. “I’m a nurse, Stan. Don’t you get it?! I don’t want to hurt people. I want to heal them. But I’m clearly crazy because a natural response to hearing you break a man’s mind should not be the urge to check your R&D notes!”
“Did you know that Sicilians believe we are born with the kiss of our soul mate on our lips?”
She shifted her hands, her engagement ring winking at me like an obscene promise, so she could aim a scowl at me. “What are you?—”
“We have to recognize that kiss,” I interrupted before she could finish. I snagged one of her hands and anointed herfingertips with a soft peck, relieved when she didn’t try to slap me. “I recognized that kiss, Kitty. Maybe you did too. Maybe that’s why you can forgive the unforgivable. Why you’re curious and not scared of me. You know I’d never hurt you?—”
“You said you’d hurt the women in Dante’s family.” She dragged her fingers out of my grip. “Does that not count as cheating in Sicily?”
Her sneer had me growling. “We do not cheat in my family.”
“So they were empty words? Bullshit. Words mean nothing in this world. Only actions. I might not know a lot about being in the mafia, but I know that you have to back your bullshit up or it means nothing.”
“The Valentinis are not known for that.”
“What? Havingstablesof prostitutes?”
“We care for?—”
“Fuck that, fuck the fucking patriarchy, and fuck you too!” she shrieked. “Do not come in here and think you can drown me in the same bullshit you sprayed onto that sick fuck.
“The past week has been hell. Seriously, hell. I’ve lost my father and a brother, learned my sister was being groomed and murdered the bastard, yet this manages to beat that. I didn’t know if I’d survive, if I’d be seeing Da and Vinny sooner than I ever imagined, and that’s on?—”
She bit back the word.
I heard it. Even if she didn’t finish.
YOU.
Kitty sucked in a breath, hissed as that must have hurt her injured ribs, then bit out, “My da cheated on my ma.”
It took a second for me to catch up.
“What?”
“You heard me.” She plucked at the hem of her sleep shorts. “No one knows, I don’t think. Only I saw them together. Byaccident. In a car. Down an alley.” She turned her fierce glare on me. “I won’t be cheated on.”
“I have no intention of cheating on you,” I immediately soothed. “And I’m sure as fuck not a rapist, Kitty. Jesus?—”
“NotALLmen?” she jeered.
“Notthisman. You have my word, Kitty. I swear. On my goddamn honor.”
“Your honor’s skewed.”
