Then, he stole the air from my lungs by rumbling, “Do you want to be there when I end that traitor’s life?”
THIRTEEN
STAN
Her eyes widened at the offer, one tentatively made when I was rarely tentative.
Hesitation put you in a grave faster than you could beg an enemy, ‘Shoot me.’
But with her, after what she’d endured because of me—Dead ToTaube’s words would leave more of a lasting impression than a gunshot wound—I knew to tread carefully.
Kitty’s fingers trickled over mine. I thought she was going to pry my hand off her thigh, but she didn’t. Instead, she bridged them together. That gesture ran in deep contrast to her pensive expression.
I accepted that, in similar circumstances, Luciu would have taken Jen to one of our warehouses and shown her how we punished men who dared hurt her.
Hunter would pull a similar stunt with Aurora.
But Kitty wasn’t Jen, and neither was she Aurora.
She’d dedicated years of her life to becoming a physician assistant.
Do no harm.
Okay, that was the Hippocratic Oath, but the principle remained. She wanted to help people, cure people,healpeople—not slay them.
“After you finished in the shower, I was going to start an argument.”
“You saw the knife,” I said flatly.
“I did. But that compounded what I’d seen after you’d started cleaning up—you had blood on your shirt. You’d killed someone. Their blood wastouchingyou and had maybe touched me.” She sucked in a breath. “I-I guess I thought I could keep things separate. At least, mentally. I do it with Cade and Lucas all the time. But that was naive of me?—”
“No, it was achoice.One you were well within your rights to make,” I interrupted.
“Burying your head in the sand and deciding to take up residence there, permanently, is definitely a choice.
“How can I demand that you tell me what’s happening one day, then the next want you to hide it from me?”
Carefully, I reasoned, “Some women prefer being kept in the dark.”
“That’s their choice.” Her fingers toyed with mine, and I took that for the reassurance it was. “I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life that’s bad, and I guess becoming a nurse was my penance for that. Me trying to right wrongs.”
“That’s how redemption works.”
“Yes, but it doesn’t make the world outside my doors any safer. And I took that stance from a privileged position—if anyone hurt me, I knew my brothers would fuck them up. That’s not how atonement works.” Her brow puckered. “If you asked Father Reilly if I knew what atonement meant, he’d say that I was a heathen he only lets into his church on Sundays to appease my ma.”
“Apparently, some of the lessons stuck,” I taunted.
“I like where we’re going, Stan. I do. Mostly, I didn’t want you to touch me againif…you know, but I was being a hypocrite.
“I knew what your job entailed before we met. I could have walked away, but I chose not to, and after last night, I’m glad I didn’t because I want more ofthis.”
“Us?” I waited for her nod.
When she gave it to me, I stood and stepped into the water, earning myself a shriek from her as it surged over the sides onto the floor.
“Jesus, Stan.” She laughed as I plunked myself opposite her in the oval-shaped bathtub.
I patted my lap, loving her laughter, grateful for it because she stillcould. “Come here,duci.”
