“This isn’t funny!”
“I never said that it was. I’m sure as fuck not laughing. You have to understand, Kitty, after the hospital, I didn’t even know if you were real?—”
“Firstly, I want it known that I don’t have to understand anything that you do.Capisci?” He cringed. I sucked in air.Then, mulishly, demanded, “What do you mean? And what’s this crap about me being an angel?”
I saw the hope flutter in his eyes like a white flag. “I wasn’t certain if I’d dreamed you or not. That’s how it started. Me obsessing and then having to know if it had happened. If we’d actually met.
“I swear to fuck I thought you were an angel. I’m not being poetic. I felt sure you’d... God, I don’t even know. Did my addled mind think you were there to guide me toward the light? Or just to make me lead a better life?
“I still have no idea. But once I knew that you were real, I…” His shoulders dropped. “I took a shot atmore, never recognizing that you were going to be it for me. I saw you and wanted you, but that’s nothing to how I feel now,duci.”
Sincerity bled through the words.
It made me want to claw at him.
“I hate that you make me feel like a chump.”
“What?!”
“You do these shit things and I forgive you.Like a chump. I’m not a chump, Stan. Do you goddamn hear me? You will stop with this bullshit because you’re making me look bad—to myself—and in this, I’m the only person who matters.
“I won’t be the type of woman who lets you get away with disrespecting me. Our beginnings have been one long rocky road in an incredibly short time span, and I don’t expect smooth sailing from here on out, but if you pull any stunts like these again, if there’s something I deserve to know and you keep it from me, if you create another godawful drug, then that’s it. We’re done. Iamwalking away.” I laid it on the line and repeated the word that rammed home my message. “Capisci?”
Admiration gleamed in his eyes. “I understand,liunissa. This is why you’re perfect for me, Kitty. I want you to demandeverything from me that I have because that’s precisely what you deserve.”
“Yes, I do.” His elation had me huffing. “I love you.” The elation exploded into a tangible joy that had my fingers curling in on themselves.I would not reach for him.“Not thatyoudeserve to hear that today.”
“I’m an addict, Kitty. I made promises before that I didn’t keep. That I knew I couldn’t keep. My family might say that every word I speak has the potential to be a lie. But when I tell you that I promise I’ll earn your love every day, that I’ll never let you regret loving me… I will do everything within my power to stay true to those promises. More than the vows we’ll take in the future. I mean this. I will be the man you deserve,duci.”
I heard the gravel in his voice and read the sincerity in his expression.
But as much as his intentions affected me, I still snapped, “See that you are. Do you know why I told you? For the first time,here,at a cemetery where my brother and father are also buried?”
His mouth worked at my admission but he settled on: “Why?”
“Because this is a lesson you’d better remember. I love you but love, as you already know, requires nurturing. In this place, where we both have people we lost, you better remember that before it fades to dust.”
“I won’t allow that to happen. I swear.”
“Good.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I love you, my angel.”
“I’m no angel, Stan.”
“You are. To me.”
Though I accepted that with a sigh, I stated, “I want to go to Evangeline’s grave.”
“Why?”
“Because I do.” I shot him a pointed look. “Are you going to take me, or do I have to spend the next couple hours walking among the gravestones?”
He pulled a face, but ten minutes later, we meandered through the graves.
And it was weird.
Not because of our end destination but because for the first time in the history ofus, we stood alone.
