BRUTAL
TARYN
Training camp has been brutal.
We’re just two weeks in and we know that it’s only a matter of days before Carole and Lexi begin cutting people from the roster.
“I wasn’t prepared for the level of scrutiny we’re under.” I admit to Talia as we grab trays and cutlery and head to the line for the hot food. “I knew they would be strict about our dancing, but making this team is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Tucker’s sister sighs. “Yeah. I was happy when I got selected, but now I’m not so sure it was a good thing. Since training started, I’ve been second guessing everything about myself.”
“We aren’t the only ones. I see how stressed everyone is. They’re terrified of making one little mistake that might cost them everything.”
Talia agrees with me. “I know what you mean. Look, I don’t argue with some of the stuff they are doing. I had blonde hair like Tucker's when I was a child. Then it became darker as I grew up, and I don’t hate it. Even though the change of color means I have to get all new makeup because now I look washed out withthe color palette I was used to. It’s all fine and dandy if I make the team. But if I don’t, I’ll begrudge being forced to change.”
“I was lucky that they only wanted to add some layers to my hair. But Jodie cried the night after the makeovers.”
She squeezes my forearm. “It looks like she has embraced her new haircut since then.”
“Yeah. But I didn’t like how stressed she was about eating. I get why they want us to stay in shape and look good in our uniforms. But I wish they didn’t make it such a big deal about our weight. What if someone develops an eating disorder? We use up a lot of calories, so we shouldn’t have to obsess over eating a little mashed potatoes. We need to keep an eye on Jodie. I’m worried about her, Tal.”
Talia squirms, her fingers holding her tray with white-knuckle force.
“What? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
She lowers her voice to make sure the people in front of us in the line can’t hear her. “I almost got cut from the team on makeover day.”
That comes as a shock. “No fucking way.”
“You know how they took photos of us to add to our files? I was in my favorite dress, the pink one with the sweetheart neckline and the A-line skirt. After they took the first shot, they kept asking me to turn around, and they took photos from every angle. Ruth, Carole, Lexi, and Adrianna were whispering the entire time.”
I’ve seen them do that a lot. Usually, they do that right before they come out with some important feedback. They call it developmental feedback, but in reality, it’s when they are about to criticize you or say something negative.
“Do you know why?”
She nods. “They didn’t like my proportions. They said my waist is too short, and it makes me look stocky. That my armsaren’t long enough and that I need to lose weight from my inner thighs.”
I’m pissed. “Are they blind? You’re absolutely gorgeous. You have a banging body, Tal.”
Her voice cracks a little. “Thanks. They said that too. They told me not to take their comments as criticism because if they didn’t think I was beautiful, they wouldn’t have selected me. But they also said that dancers benefit from being shaped a certain way and that I don’t have the typical frame a dancer should have. I was sure they were about to cut me from the roster.”
“But they didn’t.”
“They didn’t.” She whispers. “Ruth said she can make subtle adjustments to my uniform, and they gave me a personalized workout to shape my thighs and improve my waist area.”
I’m happy they didn’t cut her, but I hate that they made Talia feel like there was something wrong with her. “Did they tell you to lose weight?”
“Actually, no. They said my weight was fine. That made everything worse. Losing weight would have been easier than this. What if by the final week of camp, my body hasn’t changed the way they want? Dancing has always been my dream.”
“There are going to be other ways if this doesn’t work out, Tal.” I try to encourage her. “But you’ll make this team. We’ll make it together. You, me, and Jo-Jo.”
Talia’s blue eyes, so similar to Tucker’s, shine with unshed tears. “Even if I don’t, this experience made me meet you and Jodie. That alone is worth all this stress.”
If I weren’t holding my tray, I would hug her.
The sound of someone clearing their throat gets us to turn around.
“You’re holding up the line.” Nash points to the space in front of us where people have moved up and we’re next to be served.
