“The fact that I understand,” Scott says. “Doesn’t mean that you did the right thing. The second you got threatened with that video, you should have come to me. That would have ended Fox’s plan before it really took off.”
Lev agrees. “We should have, you’re right. But you also know that by revealing an initiation task, we would have failed our initiation.”
“Yeah,” Scott sighs. “I get that too. What a mess. Then of course Morelli’s nephew got involved and things got even more out of your control. Now I understand why you acted the way you did, but I wish you had come to me before petitioning the council.”
Chance shakes his head. “We couldn’t, Dad. Did you not hear that Morelli had threatened to hurt us all? I could have risked my own life, but I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to Zara or you and Kelly. We had no choice but to bring his uncle to our side. And making the races legal was the only way.”
Ares
Dad isn’t yelling, but I know that doesn’t mean that he isn’t fuming.
My hunch is confirmed by his next words.
“But because of the chain of events you put in motion, everything I’ve done in the past eighteen months is gone. Motorcycles will be back in town, racing no less. The ban wasimposed to protect every family in our town from going through what we did when we lost Atlas.”
Looking at the grief so evident on my dad’s face is heartbreaking. I know how he feels because losing my twin was like having half of me ripped away. Dad kept it together after it happened. At least on the outside, he stayed strong for me and Chance.
All his grief and anger were channeled into his project to ban motorcycles from his life, and to make that happen, he ran for mayor.
“Dad,” I look him in the eye when I tell him something he might not be ready to hear. “I know how you feel, believe me. You lost your son, but I lost my twin brother. I know your heart is in the right place, and you thought that banning motorcycles was the only way to protect us. But it’s not, Dad. Like Zara said earlier during the meeting, motorcycles were just one factor. They were just one piece of the fucked up situation that resulted in what happened to Atlas. With the right safety measures and without that stray bike, Atlas would be here right now.”
I see Dad’s throat work as he swallows. He shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.
“Ares is right.” Chance backs me. “The track was slippery because of the rain. Atlas opted not to change his tires. With proper safety measures on the track, he would have walked away. But nothing would have happened if that bike hadn’t invaded the track. Motorcycles aren’t responsible, Dad. Banning them now won’t protect us in the future, and it won’t bring our brother back.”
Dad’s gaze focuses on Chance.
For a second, I think he’s about to raise his voice, or hit my brother. Our father has never hit us. Despite solving more than one issue with fights on the ice when he was still playing hockey, he never believed violence was the way to raise us.
“Maybe you’re right.” He says, lowering his gaze. “I still don’t like your solution to the problem, though. You should have come to me, and we would have found a solution to get you out of those races without pissing off Enzo Morelli. But at this point, what’s done is done. From a purely financial point of view, the racetrack is a winning idea. We’re just going to have to make sure that no corners are cut when it comes to safety and that Morelli keeps that business totally legit. He knows he has the entire town’s eyes on him right now, so hopefully he isn’t brazen enough to try anything shady, at least at the beginning. There’s one silver lining in this situation though.” He says, lifting his glass of whiskey from the coffee table but not taking a drink.
“What is it?” I ask.
Dad swirls the glass, staring at the partially melted ice cubes as they have taken on the same amber color of the liquor inside the crystal tumbler. “I don’t see any reason why you guys should race at this point. Morelli will get a lot of money once the racetrack is operational, especially if you manage to bring MotoGP to our town. Getting a MotoGP team will take time and a substantial investment. If he wants to have his own team for the Super Bike Races, he can hire professional racers. He has no reason to hold you to whatever you owed his nephew. And if he still wants that money, I can make a deal with him.”
I nod. “Yeah. That makes sense. There’s only one thing I?—”
“No,” Zara interrupts me. “I want to race.”
We all stop to look at her, surprised by her outburst.
Her mom is the first to recover. “Zara, don’t be ridiculous. You and I will talk about your part in this whole mess later. But you know how I feel about motorcycles. They have brought nothing but chaos and pain into my life. I don’t want you to have anything to do with that environment. You have school to think about; that’s your job. Leave racing to the professionals, like Scott just said.”
I might have been surprised a second ago, but this time Zara’s reaction is exactly what I expected.
“No, Mom. We can talk about this now. I know that, like Scott, you blame motorcycles for everything that went wrong in your first marriage. But what’s true about Atlas’s death is true for your divorce. Your marriage didn’t end because of motorcycles; it ended because Dad kept cheating on you.”
Kelly shakes her head. “You don’t get it, darling. I know you adore your father, and I’m glad you do. But you don’t see how the lifestyle he lived was a huge part of why he cheated. The stereotype of the bad boy on a motorcycle exists for a reason. And your father took it to the next level. There was always a race or an event that took him away from me, and there was always another woman waiting to warm his bed in my absence.”
“Mom,” Zara’s tone is gentle. “I don’t think you should blame the motorcycles for Dad’s cheating. He would have probably cheated on you with his secretary if he had had a desk job, or with a jersey chaser if he’d been a professional athlete. The same way he would have missed all the parent-teacher conferences and all my recitals. You’re right that I adore my dad, but I can see him clearly for who he is. He’s retired from racing now, but he still missed my high school graduation. There’s always something more important in his life. Motorcycles might be the excuse, but it’s himself and his needs that have always been more important than you or me.”
Chapter 20
Love Is Hard
ZARA
It’s impossible to hide the pain in my voice when I tell Mom how I feel.
