Blowing out an irritated breath from my lips, I stomp my boots back to the cabin, deciding to do what I do best.
Distract myself.
***
I feel the chaos before I can hear it, like looming danger approaching, the fine hairs on the back of my neck prickling at attention. I look up from the first aid kit, hand hovering over the bandages, my gaze floating toward the window as a ring slashes through my eardrums, signaling for my attention.
Muffled voices become clearer when I near the window, steal toward it like I want to eavesdrop, but it’s only because I’m curious. Usually, at this time of day, no one can be heard or seen outside the clinic. Everyone is either making their way home to the cabins dispersed across the valley or reporting for night shift duty on the perimeters of Red Moon territory.
I’m the only one left in the clinic, since I spent most of the day tidying up the medical room. So, I steal to the window, hiding off to the side where no one can see me from outside.
“I’m not in the mood for this, Conan,” comes Damian’s voice, and I gasp, peeping through the curtain to find him facing the dark-haired man, a finger pointed at his face. “I warned you already—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Conan makes a shrewd face. “You’ll cut Iron Breath out of the pact, and we’ll be left to fend the demons off alone. But haven’t you considered that it’s your mate they’re after?”
“They’ve been after us for three years, Conan. She has nothing to do with this war.” I say this to shut him up, even if it isn’t entirely true.
“What if she does?” Conan sneers. “If that ritual found in the south was what led you to your fated mate, don’t you think the demons already knew? Maybe that’s why they’ve been after us? They’ve been trying to stop the emergence of fire again.”
Damian steps up to Conan, and the growl he lets out can be felt vibrating in my chest. My heart pounds as I watch him, hand curling into a fist, feeling heat rise inside my being.
“I don’t care why the demons are after us. That’s irrelevant. The point is that my people, your people, and Henry’s people are in danger. Utter another word against my fated mate, and don’t just kiss the pact goodbye, kiss your ass goodbye, too. Do I make myself clear?”
Conan must have seen something in Damian’s eyes, because he nods slowly, shoulders slouching, before they’re joined by the elder from Conan’s pack.
Gulping hard, there’s a fusion of arousal and anger awakening inside me. Anger because it’s the height of my frustration, and I just witnessed Damian defending me again while he keeps his distance from me.
By the time I’m done locking up the clinic and making my way to Damian’s cabin, I feel like I’m on the verge of exploding. The only thing stopping me from an instant outburst is the aroma of fresh food drifting out to the porch when I arrive.
Sighing as I push the door open, there’s a part of me that wants to be grateful, but there’s also the part that remains confused. What does any of this mean? Coming home to dinner like we've been married for years…
It’s only been a month, and Damian won’t even touch me again.
“I heard you outside the clinic…with Conan,” I admit tersely during dinner, keeping my gaze fixed on my glass. We’ve hardly said a word to each other since I walked inside, and I can’t stand how awkward the air feels.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Damian sighs, hanging his head as his finger twitches on his fork. “Though I think Conan did that on purpose, so you would hear him. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I frown, lifting my head and noticing that Damian still doesn’t look at me. “For defending me in my absence? For standing up for me when you didn’t even know if I could hear you? Or are you sorry that you’ve been distancing yourself from me?”
Damian finally looks up, his eyes softening with both sadness and regret. “Sophie, I—”
“I don’t want to hear excuses, Damian. You’re confusing me. All of this is confusing.” I press a hand to my temple. “On one hand, you’re being patient and supportive, and on the other, you’re putting this distance between us as if you can’t feel the mate bond.”
A slight gasp escapes his lips, as if in surprise, his blue eyes flickering with the same emotion. “Of course I can feel it, Sophie.” His brows knit into a frown, like he’s chastising himself inwardly. “You think I can’t feel the way it’s pulling us together?”
“So, after everything that’s happened, you’re the one who’s running away from it?”
Damian takes a deep breath, biting his bottom lip. “I’m not running away, Sophie, I promise. I’m just…” his voice tapers off as he lowers his eyes to the plate, face contorting with a troubled look. “I’m afraid of messing things up with you. I’ve done it before. Not once, but twice. And I can’t live with myself if I do it a third time.”
My heart skips a beat, but I’m still left with confusion, because I’m not sure if I should be angry or grateful. I get that he doesn’t want to mess things up again, but I can’t help but feel frustrated that there isn’t any movement in our relationship.
“You’re the alpha of this entire wolf pack. You’re not supposed to be afraid,” I say, noticing how my words hurt him, as if I’d pierced a dagger into his chest. He flinches and gulps as I get to my feet, but I’m too hurt to stick around and wait for more excuses from him.
That’s why I retreat to my bedroom for the night, half-expecting him to follow me, but not surprised when he doesn’t. The unresolved tension weighs heavily on my heart as I slip into bed, curling up like a baby with my arms hugging my chest, rocking myself to sleep.
But not even sleep can take away the longing in my heart when it’s Damian I dream about.
Chapter 23 - Damian
