Our kisses are more passionate now, ravenous, desperate as our bodies make skin-to-skin contact, and every nerve ending ignites with red-hot fire that burns for him to be inside me. My hands wrap around his neck as he lays me on my back, my thighs parting as he settles between them, and his lips don’t leave mine even as he reaches between us and strokes my drenched folds with his fingers like he’s playing his favorite instrument.
He pulls back, just to stare deeply into my eyes, undressing my soul as he takes his cock in his hand and strokes the tip over my folds, gathering my slick like lubrication before he enters me. The delicious stretch has my body awakening from what feels like eternal slumber, and I come alive once he’s inside me.
I crush my lips to his, desperate to feel everything as he begins to thrust, my thighs wrapped around his waist as he hits the depths of my core, his cock filling me perfectly, the crown grinding on my G-spot. With every stroke, Damian leads me toward the peak of my existence, where nothing else matters but our bodies united in this sacred dance. It feels like my body is finally relaxing, my nervous system soothed after a lifetime of fight or flight mode, and all I want is to be right here, right now, as he makes me feel like the most irresistible creature in the world.
And he does it so well, peppering my jaw and neck with passionate, open-mouthed kisses while the fire crackles beside us, showering us in warmth and coziness that makes this moment feel like it’ll last forever. I turn my face toward the fireplace, watching the flames dance as if following the rhythm of our bodies, until I can’t stay here anymore. I’m about to leap,and so is Damian, and he holds my hand when we both leap off the cliff into bliss together.
I can’t make sense of where I end or begin, so I cling to his kisses, drinking in his breath as if I can’t breathe on my own. We ride the high together, our bodies trembling in tandem, until we’re both spent, and Damian drops his weight onto me.
It’s only when we catch our breaths that Damian rolls onto his shoulder, scooping me into his side and cuddling me close, one arm cushioning my head as we face the fire.
As the flames simmer down as if climbing down from the high with us, a gentle fire remains, burning through the illusion I just allowed myself to be swept in. While Damian presses a kiss to my temple, I feel my walls of defense coming up again, and I don’t move, feigning sleep with a sigh so he buys it.
I’m holding my breath until I’m sure he’s fallen asleep, my heart pounding, but for all the wrong reasons. Realization bursts the bubble we created tonight, and I can’t accept that everything is fine.
It’s not.
Nothing will ever be the same, yet things will never go back to the way they were before I knew about the existence of werewolves, witches, and demons. There’s no bubble that can protect me from those things, and that means I’m forced to face the unforgivable.
I thought I could, but I can’t forget. When all is said and done, I can’t put the past behind me. Only I know the torture I faced in those two years, hating Damian, hating myself for simply existing, wracking my brain trying to figure out if I did something wrong. I know that all it would take is one decision to put it to rest, but my mind isn’t strong enough, too broken by the past hurt to courageously act as I move forward.
What happened tonight was a mistake. It never should have happened. I never should have slept with Damian again, and risk losing the semblance of sanity I'd spent so much time building.
I was doing fine before all of this—before mate bonds and werewolves and supernatural creatures. But there's a pull deep inside me, a tug of my heartstrings, that stops me from leaving this place altogether.
Being at their clinic, helping the patients, fighting beside them earlier tonight.
I know I said I didn't care about destiny, and I didn't care about fate. But then why does it feel like I'm meant to be here, in the valley, amongst these people who need me?
It feels like I belong; this place feels like home, while the only intruder is the man with his arm around me, holding me close as if I'm the most important thing in the world to him.
There's a part of me that will always be insecure, a part of me that won't forget the past, a part of me that will always be unsure about the future.
And one night of weakness can't take away all the pain I felt.
I need to get away from Damian before my heart breaks again. I can't go through what I went through in the past for a second time.
I don't think I'd survive it.
Chapter 13 - Damian
There's a coldness that hits my face even before I open my eyes, like a whisper of dread, or a signal that nothing is the way it's supposed to be. Something is wrong. That chill travels down my neck, prickling the fine hairs there, and my eyes spring open, only to find that my arms are empty, and so is the space beside me where Sophie is supposed to be.
My heart lurches, and for a breath, a cloud of sadness hangs over my head, threatening to crack open in a way that feels even worse than it did when I broke up with her in the past. This one is fresh, a newer hurt, because I thought that we were moving forward. I thought that we could move forward after everything, but maybe I was wrong.
Or maybe I’m just being too quick to assume things. She could have woken up and gone to the bathroom.
But the cold space beside me is a tell-tale sign that she didn’t sleep beside me at all. Dawn has already broken, and the morning sun streams through the curtains in the living room; the fire has gone out long ago, and the absence beside me is a lingering presence, born from the night, as cold as the dead fireplace, as if she left as soon as I fell asleep.
I sigh heavily, placing an arm over my eyes as I take a moment to gather my thoughts. I’m not shocked, but I am surprised. No one can fake the desire or the passion we shared last night. What we had was special—what we’ve always had was special—and denying it feels like a betrayal of the mate bond, a betrayal of my heart, and a betrayal of everything that I’ve ever felt for her.
How could she do this?
Something inside me breaks, cracks open as if the earth itself is shattering and swallowing me whole. I try not to let it consume me, but it’s nearly impossible when every inch of my body smells like her, as if she’s a pond and I’d drowned myself in her essence.
Her scent is everywhere, as if it’s in my pores, and it’s what compels me to pull myself together and get to my feet, finding my pants thrown on the floor and pulling them over my legs before going in search of Sophie. I follow her scent like a breadcrumb trail toward the guest bedroom, finding the door closed but catching her scent even more strongly.
I raise my hand, about to knock, but stop, hesitating, my stomach twisting as if my insides are warning me not to go ahead. If she’s in there, with the door closed, and she didn’t sleep beside me last night, it means she regrets what happened between us.
