“No,” Hazel said, not breaking her gaze from her work. “I’m fine.”
I nodded, looking outside the room. Everyone was busy with work, and it was utterly quiet in there. I wondered what she did while she was there. She clearly was learning things when she came. I wondered what her days looked like.
I pulled myself up and started looking in the cabinet. I felt like I was staring at her after a while. The private rooms were set up like an operating room. There was nothing out besides a vase with daisies in it.
“What are you doing?” Hazel asked, finally looking away from the girl. She looked at me with irritation, and I paused.
“I’m just looking around,” I stated, feeling that Hazel was obviously still angry about before. “I’ve only ever been inside here a few times. It’s a nice place. The witches do a good job.”
Hazel fell quiet, and I leaned against the counter. I watched the way her hands worked, with her lips sealed. I chewed on my cheek, wishing she would say something. Anything.
“Hazel, talk to me. I can tell something is bothering you.”
“I’m trying to focus,” she snapped. She paused her hands and sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be snappy. I just need to focus.”
I sat back down, and I could see the shift in Hazel’s eyes. Her mind was somewhere else, and I knew where. I could still see the way she was yelling at Brandon. “Are you thinking about how we got here?”
Her hands froze, and her eyes seemed to flicker. Her face went pale for a moment before she swallowed. “Aren’t you? Don’t you think about it?”
I had many nightmares about how we got here. The blood that was spilled, the screams of neighbors and friends. I woke up in panic for weeks, crying because I just didn’t understand. It always felt so real every time I went back there. I could still see the hybrid and feel the pure terror, thinking how we weren’t going to survive.
But we had been saved. We came here, and slowly things started to return to normal. I still had nightmares, still had moments, but I felt normal.
Maybe she didn’t. Maybe Hazel hadn’t moved past everything.
She looked away from me. “Why didn’t you tell me you thought you had magic?”
I paused my hands, wondering if she was ever going to ask me about that. I knew all this anger wasn’t just with Brandon. “I uh… was denying it for a while.”
She turned to me now, her lips pulled back tightly in a scowl. “And that being why you were asking me questions before? Why didn’t you just ask me? Or tell me?”
I placed my hands into my lap. “Because you said it wasn’t possible. I figured it was something else. A spell on the book or a feeling. I didn’t think I was able to use magic, Hazel.”
Hazel turned away, and I could tell she was unhappy, but I didn’t understand why she was so angry about it. “Why does it bother you so much? Are you pissed you weren’t the first person to know?”
Hazel got up and started cleaning everything she had been using. I remained quiet, not expecting her to answer. But she threw her stuff in the trash angrily and turned with her hands in tight fists. “Did you really just ask me why it bothers me? Did you seriously have to ask me why? How is it you don’t get it?”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I shouldn’t have asked that; it was a bad question. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“We are witches, Gabriella. Our mother had our powers forcibly taken away, and you’re asking me why it bothers me?”
I slowly got up. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just…”
Hazel sighed. “You got what I have been dreaming about. I have wished for another chance to use my magic.” Hazel rubbed her hands on a rag furiously. “I mean, I started this thinking they would know a way to get me my magic back. But they said there isn’t a way. That it was literally impossible to do! I had to stomach the fact I would never, ever feel that again. It was like losing it all over again.”
My shoulders sank. “But I got mine. That doesn’t mean you can’t get yours. It’s clearly not impossible.”
Hazel chewed on her lower lip. “Chelsey thinks you never had all of your magic stripped to begin with. You never usedyour magic before the stripping, so she thinks you had some that Ruth never reached.” Hazel tossed her rag aside. “I am not under that.”
I frowned. “You don’t know what, Hazel.”
“No, I did,” she said, leaning back against the counter. “I feel nothing. I feel no tingle, no connection. I have tried everything to get connected to magic like I was before, and there is nothing.” Hazel crossed her arms. “I miss it. I miss that tingling sensation, that feeling that wraps over your body. I’ll never feel that. And I’m jealous you get too.”
My eyebrows went up at this. “You’re jealous?”
She nodded. “You got what I wanted. You got what I have been wanting back for most of my life, Gabriella.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Her eye narrowed. “This isn’t funny.”
