I took a bite of my food, allowing the flavor to sink in. It was just as amazing as it looked. “Well, your classes did you good.”
He chuckled, taking a sip of his wine. “I’m glad that we can do this… and I’m glad your sister isn’t here.”
I paused. “Why is that?”
His smile tightened. “Because I wanted to apologize for everything.”
I swallowed slowly. His eyes softened. “I shouldn’t have avoided you or treated our friendship the way I did. I shouldn’t have let things with the guys get so bad, or allowed it to continue after I saw it the first time. I should have stepped in. I’m sorry about all of it. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong.”
I took a swig of the wine and sank a little back in my chair. I could see he meant it, and genuinely felt bad about everything.
“Thank you, that means a lot.”
“Well, I haven’t exactly been a good friend, and it was needed. I don’t want there to be anything left between us that could ruin what we fixed.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you? Let it all happen?”
He remained quiet for a moment before speaking in a softer tone. “I was trying to protect you and myself. With everything going on, I figured it would be better for us.”
“I wish you had just talked to me,” I admitted, pushing a green bean on my plate. “Wouldn’t that have been easier?”
“Possible, but I was also trying to avoid you having that hurt look on your face. I figured maybe you would find someone else to hang out with at the library. That our friendship didn’t mean that much.”
I frowned. “You were wrong.”
“I know.” He gave me a hurt smile. “I know I was wrong, which is why I want to fix it now.” I could see he meant it, and he was trying, and that meant so much.
I took a couple of bites of dinner while trying to talk. But the more we spoke, the more I remembered how much I’d like him. The anger made it easy to forget that he was a great guy. Butnow that he’d apologized, I found myself wishing. But the thing was, if he wanted me, wouldn’t he be trying to get closer to me?
“I think I’m done,” I said, pulling myself up. His eyebrows went up. “Is something wrong?”
I shook my head. “I’m honestly just exhausted from the training. I’m going to put this away and head to bed.”
“Just leave it. I’ll put it away, you go ahead.” He gave me a gentle smile, and I felt my heart skip a beat.
“Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.” I slipped out of the dining room and headed to my room.
I slept like shit. I tossed and turned all night, finally giving up a little after five. I crawled my ass out of bed and dressed. I slipped into the hall, finding the house quiet. I stared out the living room windows, taking in the view. I paused when my eyes landed on the woods.
An idea sparked, and I turned, pulling on my jacket and shoes. I moved quietly, being sure not to make too much noise. I didn’t want to wake the others.
I drove to the training ground and made my way into the woods where the lake was. I stared at the stillness and took in the silence. A quiet house was different from a quiet woods.
I slipped my shoes off and tossed my jacket aside. I slowly made my way into the water, biting hard into my cheek. The water was freezing, and every nerve in my body was waking up.
I dove under, letting the feeling take hold of me. I was cold, utterly frozen to my core. And as the seconds ticked by, the cold started to seem a little less painful.
I popped back up to the surface, inhaling the air. I stared at the sky, taking in the dark clouds, the sun that was hardly even on the horizon.
I allowed myself to sink back under the water, letting my limbs relax and float where they felt. I closed my eyes, enjoying the peace and quiet that went with it.
I understood why Westley did this. Once you got over how cold it was, it was relaxing. My mind was so focused on being cold that nothing else seemed to matter.
I suddenly felt my body jerk up, and my eyes snapped open to find Westley pulling at me. His arms were wrapped around my middle, tugging me to his chest. We broke the surface of the water, and he started yelling. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
I looked at him, confused, pressing my hands on his chest as I blinked at him. I hadn’t even heard him enter the water or call my name. “What?”
“What are you doing? Trying to drown yourself?”
