“You’re leaving Kerrville?” The words tumbled out and he sound angry, an emotion he hadn’t expected to feel, considering Nadia had no idea what his future dreams had been.
Her shoulders slumped and he wished he could snatch the words back. “I don’t know.”
Mitch ripped off the towel and strode over to where his clothes lay discarded on the floor. Grabbing his boxers and pants he pulled them on. “You said it yourself, this is your dream job. It’s everything you wanted. You should take it.”
God, more imaginary bullets pummeled his skin, he was surprised he didn’t double over with the pain of saying those words. What he really wanted to say wasstay with me Nadia, let me be your dream. He wanted a future with her.
What sort of future would it be, though, if she stayed when she didn’t want to?
If the reason she stayed was because he begged her to, over time she would begin to resent him for not allowing her this chance. The future he envisioned would crumble and turn to ashes. Love would turn to hate. He didn’t want to go through that and he, for sure, didn’t want to put Nadia through it as well.
“What did you say?”
Mitch held his shirt loosely between his fingers. “I think you heard. I said you should take it. If anyone should know how fickle life can be it’s me. You’ve got to take every opportunity to follow your dreams when you can. You don’t want to live with regrets.”
Unable to face her anymore because he was about to tell her to forget everything he said and stay, he turned away and put his shirt on, taking his time to do the buttons up.
“Right, well if that’s how you feel, I’ll take the job. I’m going to have a shower, then we can leave.” Her tone bitter. The walls vibrated, as the door slammed, as if telling him he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
It’s for the better. You’re not ready to commit long term. You’re still trying to get your life on track. You don’t know what you’re going to do tomorrow. Better to break the connection now before it got too strong.
Why didn’t he take any comfort from his inner thoughts?
He wanted to argue with his inner voice. Wanted to rail against fate and ask why put Nadia in his life, give him the one person who understood who he was now, only to snatch her away.
Mitch slumped into the small lounge chair, the piece of furniture uncomfortable. How he wished he could’ve stayed in the bathroom for ten minutes longer, then he wouldn’t know anything about Nadia’s potential job. Would that scenario be any better? Sometimes knowing the ugly truth was better than not.
Behind him the bathroom door whispered open and Nadia’s soft foot fall moved around the bed to collect her clothes. How had their wonderful night turned so dark and bitter?
Life had a way of snatching the good from him.
“I’m ready to leave now.”
Mitch looked up and he was once again blown away by how gorgeous she was. Even with her face free of the makeup and glitter from the previous evening, she took his breath away. He clenched his fists as he rose from the chair. It would be so easy to reach out and pull her into his arms. To slowly remove the tantalizing wrap around dress she wore and make love to her again. Make them both forget the words they’d spoken to each other, but glossing over issues never solved them. Hadn’t he found that out? Over time his attacks had gotten worse and worse until he accepted them as a part of his normal day to day life. If he’d taken the counseling more seriously when he’d returned perhaps, he wouldn’t have been in so deep. Then again, Nadia was a catalyst for making him want to get the help heneeded. He wanted to be a better man for her, and if she left, well, he’d thank her for giving him the courage to improve his life.
Perhaps her purpose in his life was to give him the push to get help. Mitch immediately disregarded the thought. There had been plenty of people pushing him to get help—Gene being at the top of the list, followed by his parents and Eric.
“Mitch, are you okay?” Her hand touched his arm and he closed his eyes, relishing the electricity flowing through him from their connection. But he couldn’t let it overwhelm him. He had to let her go.
Taking a step back he pushed his fingers through his hair. “Yep, I’m fine. Let’s go.”
With sure steps, he strode over to the door opening it so Nadia could precede him out. Before letting the door close he glanced one last time at the room, imprinting all that had happened into his mind.
Last night was one he didn’t want to ever forget.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The walkback to where Mitch had parked his truck was long and silent. Numbness pervaded every part of Nadia’s body.
How had things gone so wrong?
She didn’t even know if she wanted the job in Boston. As much as it had been everything she thought she’d wanted, her values had changed. She’d changed during her time in Kerrville. She’d found herself and she wasn’t sure she would fit back in the city now in her new skin.
Being part of a smaller community was fulfilling in a way she’d never imagined. Working in an inner city ER wouldn’t give her the opportunity to get to know her patients in the way she did where she currently worked. It was all about clearing out the waiting room in the city. Burnout was a real thing with city doctors and something she hadn’t considered before when she’d been applying.
It wasn’t as cut and dry as Mitch made it out to be. If she’d gotten the call about the job three months ago, things may have been different. She’d have jumped at the chance to get out of small-town Kerrville. It would’ve been a travesty if she had, because she’d learned so much. And she’d found the man walking beside her.
While she’d been in the shower she went over the night they’d spent together. Every conversation they’d ever had over the course of their relationship, and especially in the last couple of weeks. The way she’d wanted to do anything possible to help Mitch through his attacks.
