When I finish, I take Jemmy out of his high chair and set his feet on the floor. The instant I do, he takes off into the living room, toddling toward the bin full of toys Rowan just picked up, dumping them out.
“Bud, Ro-Ro just cleaned all those up.”
“It’s okay,” she assures him with a smile. “I knew that would happen. But sometimes it’s best to start with a clean slate.”
“I suppose,” I murmur. “Are you okay for a minute while I brush my teeth?”
“Of course.” She waves me off, and I head upstairs.
When I come back down, I find her by the kitchen island, zipping up Presley’s lunch bag while the kids play in the living room.
“You can eat breakfast with us,” I say quietly. “And dinner. You may be their nanny, but?—”
“You need time with them without me,” she cuts in, her voice low enough that the kids won’t hear. “The last few weeks… Some lines got blurred. I think it’s important we re-establish boundaries.”
The word sits between us like a wall. Boundaries. I know we need them. But it still stings to hear her say it.
“This will remind them I’m just their nanny,” she adds. “I adore them. But I won’t be here forever.”
She says it so matter-of-factly, and something in my chest tightens, much to my surprise.
When I hired her, I knew she wouldn’t stay forever. But in the short time she’s been here, I’ve gotten used to her smile. Her laughter. Her excitement.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe the best thing right now is to re-establish boundaries.
Start with a clean slate… Like Jemmy’s toys.
“I understand. It’s probably for the best.”
She lifts her chin. “It is.”
I hold her gaze for a beat, wanting to say something. But what?
That I don’t want to re-establish boundaries?
That her kiss sparked something inside me and I want more?
That I saw Joshua drive her home last night?
That I watched from the window like some jealous teenager?
That I want to know if he got to brush his mouth against her skin?
If she smiled at him the way she used to smile at me?
That I hate how much the thought bothers me?
That I don’t want anyone else touching her?
But I don’t say any of that.
Because that would cross a boundary we’re supposedly redrawing.
“Presley. Time to go,” I call out, heading toward the mudroom.
She jumps up from where she was playing with Jemmy and hurries toward me. I hold her coat out for her, and she slides into it. Rowan joins us, helping her with her gloves and scarf before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.
“Have a great day at school.”
